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Jul 30
2010
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Hi
I am in desparate need of help as I justdo not know where to turn!
I have been on this site from the start of my nightmare and thought I had things under control but sadly its seems not!
Brief outline........... 18 yrs relationship..... 1 beautiful daughter now 17yrs old..... married in 2005 after rocky patches through the years. Sept 09 sbx left the house taking my daughter with her. Applied for occupation order and restraining order under false allegations. She then told my solicitor she found a place and was not going to pursue the order. 8 months later having struggled to manage to cover housing costs, as she refused to honour any joint commitments. She resurfaces the attempt to make me homeless. I am self employed and work has be almost non-existant I took in loders to help with bills. The court threw out her application but to my horror she wanted then to move back in with my daughter, claiming finacial problems and that she could not able to afford to house our daughter. The judge told her, as the divorce was not yet processed she was entitled to move back in but he had no powers to enforce or ensure she contributed to the house costs. I had to get rid of the lodgers and she moved back in the home occupying a spare room. 3 months on she has not helped with any housing costs at all and also expects me to ensure food is suppliedfor our daughter. She works full time and earns good money. The divorce process has been painfully slow due to my stbx actions and I am still struggling to source work/income. The house has been on the market since she left and sadly we have not had a offer yet.
She wants half of any profit from the house sale, says my debts are mine and hers are hers! The house was bought in joint names but I invested £50k as a deposit, she came with nothing but paid a fixed £1000 per month towards the house when we bought it, I paid the rest which included a secured loan to extend the house.
Originaly she was happy with sharing profit after deducting my £50k but has changed her mind. I have been paying the majority of the house costs, holidays and family costs throughout our 5 yr marriage. I have borrowed heavily to maintain the house due to her lack money control and my lack of consistant work/money. I will no longer be able to secure a mortgage in the current climate and with my now poor credit history.
She has removed from the home a lot of items, some personal to me and at every opportunity she takes things which she considers she wants or to prevent me having. I seem powerless to get her to see sense or be rational about anything. We do not speak to each other and she has managed to convince my daughter to follow her lead.
I do not know what is the best line of approach as all I want, is out of this damaging realtionship/marriage. Divorce has been applied by us both. I merely want a fair share and return on my investment. I would also like to have my personnal stuff returned. It seems the longer this process takes the more likely we could lose the house and both of us end up with nothing.
Where do I go and what do I do to get this nightmare to end!!
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Mitchum
said:
| July 30, 2010 | ||
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Hi happyrdm I can see why you've done this as a blog as it's essentially telling us what's happened to you, but there are some questions in here that you need to ask in the forum. Not everyone reads blogs and the posts in the forum so you will get more responses there. So sorry you're going through this situation and it seems to me your wife is just not being fair living there without making any contribution. However, someone in the forum will advise you on possible course of action. Good luck! Mitchum |
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dadanon
said:
| July 31, 2010 | ||
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Crikey! What a mess! You don't want to lose any equity in the house to you must avoid repossession at all costs. Sperak to your mortgage provider and request a help pack. They may allow you to go interest only (if you're currently on repayments), give you a "holiday" or something else. Tell your stbx that it is not in her interests to lose the house. Then speak to your lawyer. In relation to finance both of you will have to fill in a Form E and the Courts will apply a broad brush approach when dividing the assets. Maths is generally black and white. of course, you could come to a private agreement so perhaps mediation is something to consider. it all depends if your stbx is open to dialogue. Break it into bite sized problems. otherwise you'll go nuts! Hopefully you may be able to recover some of the additional costs you have covered but don't bank on it. |
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