another nail in her coffin

I have had a couple of good days, except for a bit of a relapse for a mistake i made, that i was not even aware of, but i,ve taken measures to make sure it does not happen again, so hopefully an apology is enough and accepted.

The main point of this blog is my continuing disbelief at my STBX,s disregard for the feelings of our kids in particular sarah our daughter. She has had to watch me suffer at the hands of her mums relationship, and at times its not been a good sight, and she must have wondered what the hell was happening to me, but she has so much carachter and stregnth for a 15 year old that she puts me to shame at times, and i am not affraid to admit that. Throughout all this our relationship has developed into a real father daughter strong bond, when i travel she rings to make sure i am ok and she tells me she misses me and loves me and that makes me feel good, far better than some of the things she has heard her mum call me.

However, This morning i had to return the compliment and be there for her, when it comes to her mum she holds no prisoners, she prefers not to see her of late , however she puts herself out to make me feel good if i say she should make an effort if her mum tries to make one with her.

She has not had much of a daughter /mother relationship for the last couple of years during this and those are tough years 13-15 for a growing young lady, and its a time biologically that you would need your mum around i guess. Her mum decided that her affair was more important and spent as little time at home or with the kids , never mind me

This morning sarah flew to berlin for a school trip, one that she has been looking forward to alot.............i guess you will all know whats coming next, well, her mum rang last night to say she would be round in the morning to help her pack and see her off, well the morning has been and gone and so has sarah, did her mum turn up? no, did she ring? no, did she text sarah , no.

So we went off without her, just me and sarah, sarah packed her own suitcase, she said as she left, dad, i really love you, i know its hard, but we will get through this , as for mum...............cant repeat it, and with that she kisseed me and we said our goodbyes.

She has gone for a week and i will really miss her, we have been through a lot together.

I spoke to the ex to find out what happened, She had over slept, its his day off, (shift work) and they had a late night, remorse, i dont think so, it certainly didnt sound like there was any in her voice. I have spent so long trying to protect her , even from the wrath of her kids that are such a high priority in her life! - no more

take it easy

ricky