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Mar 05
2008
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Well,I suppose I should keep one, it might come in use.
I've read a couple of other peeps blogs on here, and some of the tales are simply heartbreaking - I do sometimes wonder if such abusive people can really exist, and also feel awed at the charity and forgiveness their victims are capable of expressing despite their horrendous experiences.
Thankfully my tale is not so dark. For those interested in the reader's digest version:
met.
got drunk. alot.
got engaged.
got married.
got mortgaged.
got child.
she got annoyed with my 'negligence'.
i got annoyed with her whining.
got bigger mortgage.
headed into the downward spiral.
and now we're left with reality, that tiple edged sword: my side; her side; and the truth.
What are we to do? We've povisionally agreed residency and contact, she wants to take on the house with a huge mortgage, but has appeared to not investigate how she's going to pay for my equity which leads me to conclude that basically I'm going to be financially shafted. Well, there's alot to be said for consistency I suppose.
Sometimes I find this all liberating - I'm after all getting my life back after living with manipulative sociopath (and I do not hoose these words lightly). Sometimes I find it depressing,leaving behind my beautiful baby girl to the propaganda of the in-laws and onder what ind of relationship we are going to have. Other times the siuation is farcical, and I'm just left thinking "Jesus, what next? Prison? (being one of the few disasters I haven't yet experienced)".
Ah bollocks. I'll be surprised if anyone reads this. I'll probably cringe as I read it back to myself.
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fubared
said:
| March 05, 2008 | ||
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Hi downAndOut01 I was just reading your blog... It's earily similar to my life up to now. I haven't got quite as far as leaving yet. I think I'm still trying to justify to myself it's ok to let go. I've got the sociopath wife (police, courts, prosecutions the lot) and the inlaws from hell. Fubared.... |
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downAndOut01
said:
| March 06, 2008 | ||
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Hi Fubared Actualkly, I'm still living there. She's not a total monster, but I'm just getting fed up with the way everything seems to be being dictated to me, what residency and access I can expect, and that I'll just have to wait and see if we can come to an accomodation regarding the matrimonial assets, a phrase I can't help but interpret as "you're getting screwed - and not in the way you want!". The in-laws are lovely, but I do get fed up with tripping over them practically every day when my own family have been held at arms length for the past 5 years. Sometimes I just thing "bollocks!" - should I just walk out and see if I can start it all over again and sod the assets? Chin up, pal, I'm sure things will work out one way or another..... |
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denmanra
said:
| March 06, 2008 | ||
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hi, think i read this version also, but with the ran off with mate chapter, good luck ricky |
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fubared
said:
| March 06, 2008 | ||
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Hi downAndOut01, To be honest neither is my wife. Sometime she can be brilliant. Others it like living with someone who just wants to pull all the strings. Unfortuantely the former personality makes an appearance all too infrequently now. The later personality seems to delight in restricting my movements, access to money, friends and work. Up until recently whilst not being happy with this I've gone ahead with it in the hope of an easy life. Unfortunately the 'goalposts' seem to be attached to some sort of mechanism which mean they're always out of reach. I've just grown weary of it all and don't think there's a way forward in our relationship. My own family aren't allowed to see my kids. Whilst my wife's are in and out of my house and the house of the matriarch (Wife's controlling mother). God but they're a bunch of loosers. Coming from me that's quite a statement. There about a £100,000 equity in our house as the result of the whining -> bigger mortgage cycle. My name is on all the bills. She couldn't afford to pay even the mortgage herself. So if I left then until the house was sold I'm not sure how I'd be able to pay the mortgage and find somewhere to live. I get the 'Bollocks' feeling. I think it would be soooo liberating to do. Right up until the mortgage company come looking for me. Thanks for the words of encouragement.. you too. Apparently there light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just hoping it not 'the front of an oncomming train.' I get the bollocks |
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mahua
said:
| March 06, 2008 | ||
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Hey downandout ! Very similar situation to mine.. except i'm the female living with Jeykll and Hyde. He is the breadwinner, I am the homemaker ( if you heard his side ....home breaker !) Have been pouring my heart out on wikivorce..it will be good to see a man's point of view. I've seen some women like that among people we know...and if my husband was married to them the marriage would'nt have lasted a day ! Mahua |
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downAndOut01
said:
| March 06, 2008 | ||
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Hi mahua Yes, as i said on a previous post, what we have to deal with is reality, which represents three different views - our side, their side and the truth (sorry, was a bit of a B5 fan.....), and it's interesting to see just how little these three entities cross over each other. I've only been here for a day, but have read some distressing stories of other peoples, exclusively females, terrible experiences of physical abuse, served with dollops of mental and emotional abuse as well. Kinda gets my situation in perspective - I'm not having a great time, but all things considered it appears to be nothing greater than a bumpy ride over stoney ground. Sorry to hear that you've been on the receiving end of what I've been getting, but I think it illustrates that ultimatelty we are all animals, and whether male or female, you'll find saints and a**holes in both groups, probably in equal measure. The only exception being that girls can't throw balls......! |
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