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Mar 04
2008
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Mothers DayPosted by Tinny in grief and loss, feeling down |
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My Mum was buried on Mothers Day.
I was dreading the day anyway as I wasn't sure if my kids would even remember. The dread was justified even though it was for the wrong reasons.
It wasn't unexpected but somehow it was the last news I expected on Fri. The last few days have been a blur. I miss her so much and it doesn't seem real.
Mum has been my rock in the last couple of years, well all my life really but despite really bad health she has supported me at every point in this divorce hell. Divorce was alien to her, husband & wife, for better for worse, till death us do part, but I was her daughter, she understood and it helped just knowing that she was there for me when others turned their backs.
I have no regrets as I know there is nothing more I could have done for her over the last couple of years. She may have been my rock but I know I have beenhers too. I was her SOS call, someone she knew would be there, but I wasn't there when she died.
My Kids were with me on Mothers Day and that helped see me through. I kept my brave face on as much as I could for their benefit. I think they were surprised at the esteem their Granny had as the Church was overflowing with friends and relatives. I was proud of them and when everything was over they gave me a bunch of flowers for Mothers Day!
I am shell shocked now. The Matriarch is gone. Even Mums brothers and sisters said there is no hub anymore, nowhere to congregate. They all told us how good she was to all of them throughout her life, how capable, how kind, and how generous. I suppose in days to come I will take strength in all the good things that have been said.
I pray that my kids will think as warmly of me as I do of her.
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mike62
said:
| March 04, 2008 | ||
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Tinny, So sorry to read your blog. Nobody replaces Mum. What an awful way to spend mother's day. This helped me when I lost a good friend: I am standing upon that foreshore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails in the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength and I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says, "There! She's gone!" "Gone where?" "Gone from my sight, that's all." She is just as large in mast and spar and hull as ever she was when she left my side; just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of her destination. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at that moment when someone at my side says, "There! She's gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" Victor Hugo |
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scottishlady
said:
| March 04, 2008 | ||
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Tinny..... I'm sorry to read your blog..... I don't like mothers day much..... I was fourteen when I lost my mum.... and each mothers day only brings home to me what I have missed out on for all the years I have had without her..... Take comfort in the time that you spent with her...... enjoy the memories, when the time is right.... Mike is absolutely right....... there can be no replacement for 'mum'..... and I firmly believe that there is no other love like a mothers love for their child.... you have been fortunate to 'enjoy' a love so complete...... Thinking of you SL |
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