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Feb 28
2008
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When I was a child fairytales told me that sad stories have happy endings and good people were rewarded and evil people were punished. If only in the real world this were true there would always be happy endings. My marriage would have lasted for ever and ever we would have lived in happiness, contentment and fidelity.
I now know this is not an ideal world and that the a loving and committed relationship knows no bounds, but similarly the agony that two humans are able to inflict on one another defies description. Having bonded and shared myself intimately with another the pain I felt when my marriage ended was harrowing. The end meant destruction of part of myself and I knew that I, for a long time, resisted separation from my husband because I knew it means losing something forever.
In the beginning it was impossible to believe that I would survive (come on girls you know the song) and that my life would ever be anything but filled with pain and emptiness. I felt bereavement for the loss of my dream. My marriage broken and crumbled crushed me as it fell and at the same time dashed all my hopes, beliefs, and faith in the future. I invested so much of myself energy, commitment and all that was lost in the end. I wondered if there was ever going to be a time when I would laugh again and if, indeed, life was worth living at all.
BUT life has changed and will continue to do so and I only had to wait to discover that all I was is not all that I will be and the one truth I have learned is that I did in fact have the strength and the power within me to survive one of the most painful experiences anyone will ever have. That strength will remain with me always as I continue in my new life, with a new meaning.
So many people here at wiki have experienced or are experiencing the same depths of pain and have endured or are enduring the same devastating emotions. Recovery takes time and with it we create new lives, we generate new identities - LOL to Highland Lass. New life is always waiting for us but we can't see it at the beginning and only when we realize that the breakup is not an end but a beginning will we stand a chance of exceeding even our own expectations.
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mike62
said:
| February 29, 2008 | ||
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Hear hear Mummy! Think positive thoughts and positive things happen. Not the beginning of the end, but the end of the beginning. 13 months after being told my marriage was over, the mists are finally beginning to clear. There is a new life out there for me. Maybe I should change my wikiname to Phoenix!  Mike |
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Fat Boy Getting Slimmer
said:
| March 03, 2008 | ||
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Well that was a beautiful summary of where you have been and where you are going. I must say I have found it very difficult to let go and realise that it has needed both of us to fully commit if we were ever going to fix things. For a man it may be more difficult, because besides letting go of our partner it involves letting go of our children. A part-time role as dad is difficult for a dedicated father to comprehend. Lovely blog though. |
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