ranting of a mad cow

i have never done anything like this before so i will apologise now before i start. On thursday 7Aug it will be 1 year since i kicked my now x husband out for having yet another affair. And to say its been a horrible year is a huge understatement. On friday 8 August i bury my mum, my best friend, my strength, my support for the past 12 months .  I also found out that my x never had his x girlfriends name taken off the mortgage, which means i cant buy him out. The house is falling apart and he wont help pay for repairs.  He hasnt paid my fees yet or seen his solicitor since January . So he