He didnt come round last night - text me to say he was too upset and felt ill. I text back could we make it another night but no reply. Got an appointment at Relate on Monday so I have written him a note asking if he would come along with me. There are still some things I need to tell him and once he has heard those if he still says no then there isnothing I can do to change his mind so I have promised him I will never contact him again.

Asked if he could let me know so I can tell Relate if he is coming but so far no reply.

I am going to make an appointment with Doctor tomorrow I feel so

He might be coming round tonight. When I got home this morning he had put a note through my door saying he did not want to try again because he could not face the pain. I phoned him and we spoke on phone for an hour and a half it was very emotional and upsetting he didn't say no but just he had felt so much pain and had loved me so much he needed to think of himself now. I did ask if he would come to relate with me and at first he said yes but then said no he didnt think he needed to. I asked if we could meet face to face tonight when I will be home alone and he said he would try to make

How desperate I must be! seperated 5 months ago but have regretted it ever since, we were married for 25 years and I miss him so much, it was my idea but I wanted him to beg me not to go and suddenly there we were - seperated!

Anyway spoke to him on phone and asked could we try again - he said no too much had happened and nothing would have changed. So in desperation wrote to him (been having counselling and althought I am supposed to write a letter I dont think the counsellor meant me to actually send it!) told him I had ben having counselling etc and basically begged him to reconsider.

For