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Feb 01
2010
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Just joined here today, my divorce seems to be going on forever and a day and its really getting me down.
My husband walked out on me and our 2yr old son last march, he phoned me up in his lunchbreak and told me it was over and wouldnt even come home (he owns his own business) and discuss it. We hadnt the most happiest of marriages as our child tended to take up all of our time and at the time he left my son was suffering with a bad chest infection (he has asthma) which wouldnt clear, we were taking it in turns to stay up all night with our son.
To cut a long story short I filed for divorce and my husband paid for the family home and expenses until I could support myself and our son. I found work in September 09 and unfortunately the company went into administration Nov 09 and my husband had to once again pay for the family home etc.
Just after Christmas my husband told me he would no longer pay for our mortgage (which is jointly owned) and no longer pay for spousal maintenance, we had no formal agreement in place at this point.
When I came into the marriage I had my own home and car which I sold (to which I had a large amount of equity and this was put into my husbands business to pay vat and tax accounts) and a good career with the police, I gave all this up to move to another part of the country to be with my husband.
I am due in court on Wednesday for a maintenance pending suit, during this time my husband is sending me emotional texts saying by doing this I am ruining his business etc, he lives in a house far larger and more expensive than myself and his son, he has a decent works vehicle, and he sent myself to the dss last week to see if they would support us, I think this is a disgrace of him.
I am just so stressed at the moment, I have no money to live on and relying on family to feed myself and my son, I am insensed as to what my husband has done to us.
Will this divorce ever come to an end?????
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NellNoRegrets
said:
| February 01, 2010 | ||
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Yes of course it will and it will be better once its all sorted. Good luck for Wednesday. | |
L4N
said:
| February 02, 2010 | ||
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Sorry you to hear your situ. I am going thru sep at the moment & its a nightmare. Just to say hope you are getting legal advice as it sounds like you could do with some. Take care L4N |
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snakes
said:
| February 02, 2010 | ||
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Most days, I think from day to day and note every small success. When its really dark for me I imagine a fair way ahead. As Nell says - it will come to a finish. You have a 3 year old - by the time he starts school you have to believe life will be different, but also better. take care. |
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mumtoboys
said:
| February 02, 2010 | ||
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Hello Kerry - I am sorry to read your story. I have had much the same experience when it comes to the financial side of things and yes, it is a disgrace that you're forced to claim benefits whilst they have a lovely life. In my stbx's case, he has had 2 foreign holidays and a hot tub installed since leaving me just over a year ago, but he has no money to support his children! Hold your head up high and claim what you need to claim - it is he who should be ashamed, not you. There is an end to all of this, so at least that's what people assure me! Take care xxx | |
Joff
said:
| February 02, 2010 | ||
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Hi, Money seems to bring out the worst in the situation. If children are involved there is no chance of a clean break until they leave home. My cousin and I are on opposite sides of divorce (her husband is doing his best to avoid stuff and I have followed my solicitors advice to meet my obligations). We both agree the laws and likes of CSA rules suit few people properly and there is no easy answer. As MTB says don't feel guilty claiming what you are entitled to the money is there for a reason. Apply through the courts to gain what you are entitled to but like as I am sure you have already seen money is emotive and will prompt a reaction. As I have found there are no winners in divorce and a person you were once close to has now to be seen as a "utility" which if not fulfilled needs action. Harsh reality is that whilst it would be great to get along a majority of people do not. I do wish you luck and hope that things start turning for the better soon. J |
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Mitchum
said:
| February 02, 2010 | ||
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Hi Kerry, Such good advice from the others. Stay positive. Stay with us and you'll get lots of help during the coming weeks. Will PM you with idea. Love to you and your little one. M x |
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KerryJ13
said:
| February 02, 2010 | ||
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Gosh thanks so much everyone for all your kind words, dreading court tomorrow, hope to god I can get some financial help, I have a fantastic solicitor and my husband has decided to represent himself so hoping that will be his downfall!! Awaiting to hear from income support to see if there is anything they can do to help also. Once again thanks everyone, this is a real difficult time for me and trying to hold it together for the sake of my wonderful little boy. Will let you know how things go tomorrow xxxxxx |
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Itgetsbetter
said:
| February 02, 2010 | ||
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Just to echo what others have said, it will come to an end and you will find your life gets better, and has the potential to be better. All the best for tomorrow |
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