Trying desperately to move on...

The STBX is now the TBX! (I am assuming that it stands for The Bitter Ex?) The Decree Absolute was given on 11 Dec 09, and i couldn't be happier.  BUT!

Getting the DA announced was part of the deal we had arranged for settlement, and after we had agreed figures, which involved a LOT of tongue biting on my part, i asked if i should then sort out the consent order as per our discussions, and was told yes, go ahead by all means. Cue nearly £1000 spent with my Solicitor. The tongue biting was because she was laughing at the fact that our house had fell in value, and therefore she could ask for more of my pension.

Then, she will not sign and changes her mind, telling me i am trying to rip her off, and that i do not need any money in the future because it will , and i quote, " take me years before i can afford a mortgage anyway". She wants it all. After 24 years in the army, her intention is to leave me with nothing. How is it fair? This woman never supported me! Oh, you may read about amazing army wives who happily smile as their husbands go off to do the job that we get relatively well paid for. TBX had no problem spending the money, but she made it as difficult as humanly possible for me to function professionally. Often drunk and always rude, never even tried to help me. Did she not realise its hard and often scary? Yes, we do it by choice, but someone has to, I was a soldier when we met, and like i have said, she had no problem spending my wages.

I pay Maint for the children, always on the 1st, never late. I pay the mortgage. she will not work, telling me the children need her at home (they are 14 and 17! She has no qualms about leaving them at home to go to the pub!), refuses to get a job, and expects me to pay her to sit at home with Jeremy Kyle. there is no reason she cannot work, only that she doesn't want to.

My solicitor says it is hard to see how she can expect Spousal Maint, with the amount of benefits she gets and the money i already pay. Her Solicitor tells her that she is entitled to up to £1000 per month for her alone! Never mind £600 for the boys and £500 ish for the mortgage. feel like screaming. Also, feel like solicitors keep things going for the money. Already paid £7000+, just got another bill for £1000+... no idea where i am going to find the cash to pay that one. Anyway, asked for a meeting with her solicitor to try and put this to bed once and for all.

Thanks for listening to my rant, it's not all bad, at least i am now (nearly) a Free man, although i suppose i will never be completely free from her bitter spite. Oh yes, anyone any idea how long i could be expected to pay spousal maint for? if its forever, i may just give up working completely...