Yesterday, while cleaning out the garage, I stumbled across a silver cigarette lighter. My stbx smoked and spent countless hours outside in the backyard almost certainly thinking about his conquests. It had been inscribed and dated. I had not given this to him so it had to have been a present from one of 'them' (not really the word I wanted to use). To make things worse I also discovered an empty CD cover (love songs). He never went shopping or bought CDs - EVER! I could only conclude that these were gifts from his affairs. I felt the devastation all over again but I was also very

I am paralysed by my own fear and sadness. I hate what he's done. I thought I was doing better only to wake up today with massive anxiety AGAIN. My solicitor has sent a settlement proposal to stobx, bills are mounting and I feel so out of control, He's not going to like the proposal, I can see a long and bitter battle ahead. I am trying to keep it together for my daughter's sake but I'm not doing a fabulous job at the moment. I try and go out but when I do I don't want to be there. I can't stand to be around married couples, if I'm out that's all I focus on and I know it sounds