It's been a tough week. I thought I hit rock bottom already but this week I discovered a whole new meaning. Bouts of endless crying, severe anxiety, waking in fright every half hour or so and angry at myself that my precious girl had to witness my hysterical state of being. I am so grateful to have her. I love her more than life itself. It upset her so to see me that way and I didn't expect her home at the time she saw me. I really felt bad, she has enough to deal with in life without having to take on the mother role and console me. The trigger for this emotional meltdown was a

It’s self-preservation, I know. I keep finding new reasons to despise what stbx has done to me. Last night my list was endless. How things change from one moment to the next. How thoughts change from hope to absolute despair. How strong I feel at times to how vulnerable and frail I feel emotionally from one hour to another. I felt all of these things last night. It was 9.30pm Saturday night and I dropped my daughter off at a party in the city. I decided that I wouldn’t go home because in a few hours I would have to come back and pick her up, so I decided that I would stay in town,

I was in an upbeat mood this morning. I had been out the night before with a girlfriend We went out for drinks and dinner and it was really nice. I drove my daughter to her part time job and when I got home, I chatted with some wikiangels. We shared a laugh, listened to some great music and then decided that I had procrastinated enough and needed to get the housework done. Not thinking, I put on a random CD that I had made ages ago and then started the dusting. About 10 minutes into the playlist, the song "Stay Gold" by Stevie Wonder started to play and as soon as I heard the first few