A few days ago it was my birthday and I really wished it had already come and gone. Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful for living through another year and a crap one at that, but I just wasn’t in a celebratory mood. In the morning my gorgeous daughter gave me a bottle of Valentino perfume, which was beautiful, but her words to me meant more. She told me that she loved me and thanked me for being her mum and loving her. She lifted my spirits and I went to work feeling blessed and loved. Where I work, all birthdays are celebrated with a cake and a song. Yes, we sing the “Happy Birthday”

It's been a tough week. I thought I hit rock bottom already but this week I discovered a whole new meaning. Bouts of endless crying, severe anxiety, waking in fright every half hour or so and angry at myself that my precious girl had to witness my hysterical state of being. I am so grateful to have her. I love her more than life itself. It upset her so to see me that way and I didn't expect her home at the time she saw me. I really felt bad, she has enough to deal with in life without having to take on the mother role and console me. The trigger for this emotional meltdown was a

It’s self-preservation, I know. I keep finding new reasons to despise what stbx has done to me. Last night my list was endless. How things change from one moment to the next. How thoughts change from hope to absolute despair. How strong I feel at times to how vulnerable and frail I feel emotionally from one hour to another. I felt all of these things last night. It was 9.30pm Saturday night and I dropped my daughter off at a party in the city. I decided that I wouldn’t go home because in a few hours I would have to come back and pick her up, so I decided that I would stay in town,