I keep reading things that make me think I haven't done enough yet to make him see sense, to get him to understand why I can't live with him any more. He isn't yelling at me these days, in fact he's being so reasonable I can hardly believe the nightmare of the past few years really happened. It was always that way; when he was being affable and reasonable I couldn't imagine it being so awful, but it always spiralled back out of peace and into war, and back again.

He's stopped drinking; gives him a headache. A bit late now. Maybe he'll even go back to counselling; I think he needs it even

Having spoken to my solicitor on Friday, I said I'd get my marriage history off to her over the weekend. Here it is, Wednesday, and I still haven't.  She didn't think the twenty-odd pages were needed, though accepts that it's what I need to do so that I can make it coherent, for myself.  I don't think she would have appreciated the ninety pages it was when I started two  months ago, nearly three now. 

I've been a bit worried about the behaviour having to be within the last six months.  The really serious incident, the one that still gets to me,  was in June last year.   But, I did leave him

I just want this off my mind.  It's driving me round the bend, which, come to think of it, is why I left him.  Yesterday I forgot my medication, that I take in the morning, and consequently broke my sleep routine.  I was awake most of the night, having read until nearly two, and am yawning my head off right now but need to get this done.   Where do you start when you spent your life with someone who, on  a camping holiday,  spitefully snatched the soap off you when you picked it up to remove the 'bits' stuck to it?  I must have been mad to take it.  Any of it.  Yet we would have fun on those