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Oct 22
2009
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Ex's - Don't you Love Them!!!Posted by Itgetsbetter in soon to be ex, other, good day |
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Spoke to the ex earlier to sort out arrangements for the kids for the weekends in November and December.
For half term, they are going away with me and my parents, we are staying at a cottage in this country - fairly cheap and cheerful but good fun. I had thought we had the cottage Saturday to Saturday, but it turns out it is Friday to Friday. Since we would be back on Friday 30th I suggested to the ex she has them for the last weekend of the half term (some self interest on my part as there is a halloween party I would like to go to!)
Anyway ex said that she couldn't have them that weekend as she had arranged to go away for half term herself and wouldn't be back till late on the Saturday. 'Going anywhere nice?' I say. 'Going to Italy for a few days' she says, 'friends sister is getting married in Ravello'.......We went there as a family a few years ago, it is very nice....and very expensive!! Even if she does stay at her friends place it will cost a fair bit to get there and do stuff. This will be the third time she has been abroad on holiday in the 20 months since we separated (without the kids), and several weekend breaks in this country (again without the kids)
My trips abroad since we separated = zero :-( My weekends away without the kids = 1!......But I am trying to be civil so I grit my teeth and say nothing!
We manage to sort out the weekends for November and December without any arguments.
I then change the subject to houses and ask how things are coming on with her house, she says it is slow due to lack of money...... note back to her Italian and other holidays!
I change the subject to the kids Christmas presents and ask if she wants to go halves on presents. She says she is really skint and will only be able to get a few bits and pieces for them.....I really had to bite my tongue about her Italian jaunt by this time!
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JackieH
said:
| October 22, 2009 | ||
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Aren't they great! My husband earns more than twice what I earn and has ow's income and manages £30 for the youngest's birthday and Xmas and nothing for the older ones. He and ow regularly go away together, we never went away without the kids the whole 19 years we were together!I really don't get their logic on this!I have three jobs to survive. Their priorities are totally off balance! | |
Pheonix2yk9
said:
| October 22, 2009 | ||
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Mate Your children will know that you have their best interests at heart and in the long run you will reap the rewards. Take care Pheonix |
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Deedum
said:
| October 23, 2009 | ||
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Steve Their life comes first now, remember! I can't even get ex to agree regular weekends and Christmas, well he doesn't know what he is doing yet! I have given up and now just plan my life and the kids fit in with that. I either take them with me or my family look after them. I know I can't rely on him. They have had no holiday with him in the last 14 months, he has had two weeks abroad in August with new woman and her kids and is off again this half term. I will never understand how someone who was once a caring father can change so much. You have my sympathy, however sadly I am not surprised. Dee |
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mumtoboys
said:
| October 23, 2009 | ||
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It's mad, isn't it? Due to getting the business up and running, stbx was rarely home before 7pm and we certainly couldn't afford new clothes or holidays....it's been a year, he's never at work (although he's not paying his bills so he's not exactly raking it in!), he's off on his second foreign holiday without the kids in December, various weekends away have been had, he's wearing clothes the rest of us could only dream about (even if he does look like he's 16 and not coming up 40!) and according to the children, his home is full of all the latest must have gadgets and gizmos....Can't wait for my mid-life crisis to come along!!!! | |
NellNoRegrets
said:
| October 23, 2009 | ||
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Itgetsbetter Firstly, congratulations on staying calm and reasonable. Yes exes are a pain. Mine had a holiday in Portugal with his ow and her children and then, having told me what a brilliant time they had, asked "didn't you go away?" and seemed surprised when I said I couldn't afford it! Oh and the last 3 times my younger son has asked if his Dad can do something with him, he's replied he's babysitting ow's children. My younger son has hardly asked him for anything, you'd think his Dad would be glad to be asked. Mind you, ex did ask son if he'd like to go to Science Museum as he's taking ow's son. So it was nice of him to think our son could tag along too... I feel so outraged on behalf of my sons...but we have to carry on being civilised, don't we?! |
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Krystaltips
said:
| October 24, 2009 | ||
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I always find it's the "little" discrepancies that cut the deepest! The minutae they think you'll miss in the vastness of the situation we are in! Her holiday comes at the expense of her children... and she will understand that... maybe not today- but someday. |
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