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Feb 04
2008
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Well..... that's the 'First Appointment' over with.... except... it was adjourned... My STBX has been ordered to file and serve the missing documentation within 21 days..... As expected, nothing much else happened.... He made a fuss about the valuation on the house.... I was asked to get a valuation done to go along with my Form E... which, true to form, I did.... I got a valuation done by one of the most used estate agents in the area.... but, now we have been ordered, either to agree a valuation, or the court will appoint a valuer, which we both have to pay for.... Seems silly to me, he knows very well approximately how much the house is worth, and he would know if I were trying to 'pull a fast one'.... but, so be it.... According to his Form E, which I saw, for the first time 10 minutes before the hearing, he needs 150K to buy a new house..... now, considering there is approximately 151K equity in the former matrimonial home... does this now mean he expects me to be able to buy/rent/set up a new house with 1K??????? He is also stating that he has 600 quid in the bank.... but his bank statements have been 'lost in the post'....and this is why they haven't been filed.... Now, for someone who has been earning approx 1K a week, I find that hard to believe.. Isn't it amazing how you can 'not look' at someone, even though you are within a couple of feet of them??? That is how I got through today...I saw he was wearing a blue jacket.... and I saw the back of his head (from an angle).... our daughter had eye contact with him for a few moments.... but she was okay..... Thankyou to all my 'friends' on wiki who have taken the time to offer advice... pass comment.... show me support.... you will never know how much it means to me Karen xxx
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mike62
said:
| February 04, 2008 | ||
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Karen, I know how much this has been playing on you for months, and although no further forward due to predictable adjournment, you have faced the all important demon of seeing him for the first time since he left. What kind of man can't meet his wife or daughter's eye? Karen, if you take nothing from this but the knowledge that you are better off without him, then you are a step further on with recovering. Take care and well done! Mike |
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fio
said:
| February 04, 2008 | ||
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You and mine both Karen - mine is feeling very sorry for himself with his 40K a year job and pension and wants to buy a £180,000 house with equity from our £240,000 house. This is all nuts - did you think that you would be in this position last year? | |
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Daisy_May
said:
| February 05, 2008 | ||
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Dear SL, The first hurdle of many - but you did it! Believe me when I say that, next time you will be nowhere near as stressed at meeting him. As for the court side of things it sounds exactly the same situation as mine. My ex needed all of the equity in our house to buy a 2 bedroom house for himself (leaving me with nothing to house myself and the kids but giving him a spare room - what a joke!!) The sad thing is this is how they think. I know it doesn't feel like you're getting anywhere fast but slowly and surely you will and you will become stronger as you go. Someone once told me that divorce is a marathon not a sprint and I now understand that competely. Well done to you and your daughter for being so strong and have a jolly good look at those bank statements when/if they arrive becase i am sure you will find your proof as to what he has been up to. Love DM X |
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ChrisM
said:
| February 05, 2008 | ||
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Well done Karen. Not that bad was it? I never looked at my ex and I managed to slam the door in her face of the court room. God that felt good  Chris. |
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IFIKNEWTHEN
said:
| February 05, 2008 | ||
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Karen, so know what you mean, I know my x2b had a new suit on but that is it. Couldn't bear to look at him at all; partly through disgust for the way he is behaving and partly because wrongly he still makes me feel so intimidated just by his presence. I guess you have to take something positive out of yesterday and that is this : he is the one who is holding up proceedings so may go your way in favour of costs if nothing else, but also he would have filed a full and frank disclosure if he had nothing to hide (just like mine, great gaping holes in his form E, hoping that he may have filled some of those by the time we get to court next week). You are the better person in all this Karen and you will always be able to hold your head up and know that you did what was right. Small consolation I know. Hope you don't have to wait too long for the next court date. Take care. Sarah x | |
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