Under duress my good lady has blackmailed me into ending the story, please provide all abusive complaints by PM so i can pass them to Linda. So we ended with my heroic display of stay calm and carry on after having the offending appendage brought back to a more modest and usual size, i was to say the least embarrassed at having my prominent bits paraded in front of the learner driver doctors, hey hum eh. Once home i had a couple of weeks before the snip, this was enough time to begin to understand the stark difference between how men and women view mens downstairs problems, you see i

If your having a glum bank holiday this may just cheer you up a bit. Its a true story about my willie, yup you read it right i said willie. Turn the clock back to when i was 7, i was in the boys loo`s at school and the boy stood next to me said oi that looks wrong, it just looked like a willie to me but then it would, so anyway i went home and said mam does this look alright to you, she slapped me upside the head and sent me off to dad, i suppose getting it out in the kitchen while she was cooking was a bit of a mistake. So the next day i`m at the doctors, i did not understand a word

Today i needed to take two of the kids to the train station ready for the Newcastle game and then Liz sledging, oh joy -4 and hard packed snow and ice, still this was a last chance to see Liz for ten days so make the best of it i thought.

I arrived in good time to find Liz looking like the Michelin man, more skins than an onion on, plus huge woolly hat tow pairs of gloves spare wellies and a towel, by the time i got Liz on my shoulders (she likes to drive me like a car) the sledge under one arm and the rest in the other i was beginning to feel like a Sherpa.............with a gentle tug of my