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Sep 23
2009
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FEARS FOR MY FUTUREPosted by nibor in soon to be ex, feeling sad and alone, anger hate revenge |
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Well In a weeks time i will be moving into my new rented accomedation As my niece ned her house back.
I will have to give my cat up my Wife(soon to be ex) says she will have him
I dont know how I,m going to cope has the cat (pumpkin) has been the only company for me since wife walked out on me
I know its only a cat but he means a lot to me and I fear that i may not cope being with out him
I dont even know if i will be able to keep my head above water when i move and start pay £100 a week rent
A lot of anger towards my wife has come to the fore again as I blame her for all things that are going wrong for me.
Some days i start to slip back into that dark deep hole that i was hoping i had crawled out off but there always seem to be some unknow hand grabing be back down the hole a unseen hand of life
Dont seem to see alot ahead in life for me has for my wife she seems to have a future ahead of her that she wants
But not with me but with her new man in her life how i hate the both of them and wish them nothing but bad luck in life
But i know they will always do better then me
after being here for the last 6mths and just getting settled with things and then that big foot from the sky kicks me hard.
I wonder when it will kick me again cant but help keep looking over my shoulder every day and night waiting.
How i wish i had walked out on her and broke her heart and destroyed her life then maybe i would be the one with a future and not her.
Just hope that life will give me a break and somthing good will happen for me???
At this time in life i need some kind of break 53yrs old and no future
Her 36yrs old and the world in her hands (how I hate Her) for what she as done to me.
Well folks may be in the future some time I will blog a happy blog
Not sure when?????
bye all
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Joff
said:
| September 23, 2009 | ||
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Hi, I have read you blog and thought back to when my TBX left. That is just over a year ago now. I moved through frustration and anger to worry about what it meant for me etc. I have come to the conclusion that she left but I was not blameless in that if we had been happy she may have stayed. Whilst i did not accept 50% of the blame I have thought a lot about what I will do going forward. I used think about a song called Theme from Mahogany but decided it was too tough to deal with. I am for the moment looking at the here and now, not looking what might have been or what will be just now. It sounds tough and you may feel that you have a lot on your plate just now, try and pick them off one by one, see if you can work out what will make you OK and try and work at it. My experience has told me that the last year has been a rollercoaster, not always up or down and changes quickly. I aimed to string more good days together and now seem to get more of them than bad. Also I do remember that even before she left I had challenges and that life was not a bed of roses every day. Try and fill the lonely times by leaning on friends or maybe Wiki and hopefully sharing will help. Good luck with the move into the flat. |
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Lucretia
said:
| September 24, 2009 | ||
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Hi xxxx Re your cat. I walked out on my marriage for various reasons - I had to leave my cats - the ginger one in my photo is my own special baby and I miss him. SO as silly as it may seem, I have a short term goal - that is to move out of here into a little place with a garden so I can have him back. I know this seems a little insignificant in the scheme of things, but it is helping me. So one thing at a time - is there any benefits you are entitled to that may help you live? At the moment you are in the pit of despair. Also , have you seen your doctor? If you haven't please do, he or she may be able to help. In the meantime, keep posting on here - there are some truly great people on here who will help. Pop into chat sometimes - if I am in there I will happily talk cat because I am, in fact, a mad cat woman! |
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Pheonix2yk9
said:
| September 24, 2009 | ||
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Nibor time to think of you, you deserve so much more in life and it does get better you may think things are not going your way but it will get better in time take care Nibor |
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julesm
said:
| September 24, 2009 | ||
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Hi Nibor You may be 53 but you do have a future, dont ever think that you dont. I am 57 and since separating from my husband in January I have had to come to terms with a different lifestyle. Please dont dwell too much on the hate aspect either. You need to forget about what they are doing and concentrate on yourself. I can promise you that it will get better in time. Best Wishes Jules |
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Elle
said:
| September 24, 2009 | ||
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Hey (((((Nibs))))) The knocks are hard and fast, give yourself time and think of you...its hard but if you stop thinking/comparing with your x...thats past, presently you are struggling to let go ...the future is yous...give yourself more time, you have lots to deal with to sort you...you...you.for now. Elle x |
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