Everything has been taken away from me.

We seemed to have a normal Christmas - but my husband did not really seem to be 'himself' somehow. He seemed to be restless and on edge. Then, on 3 January 2008, he suddenly announced he was taking divorce proceedings against me. I thought he must be joking, he was not thinking straight. He said he was serious, it was the only course of action. He said he was divorcing me because of my credit card debts (he also has credit card debts) and because of my ongoing mental health problems. (I suffer with severe clinical depression, which he knew I had when he married me 18 years ago. I also suffer with chronic fatigue, which includes physical aches and pains in my muscles and joints. This has made it impossible for me to work and earn a wage for several years.) Because I had trouble meeting token payments to my creditors (arranged via Citizens Advice Bureau) in the 2 months before Christmas, he says he has lost all trust in me and now wants a divorce. A few months ago, in spite of our problems, he said he was prepared to stay with me and support me. Now he has gone back on his word. He says that unless he divorces me, he will be unable to continue with his job and keep a roof over the childrens heads. We have 2 children, aged 11 and 13 years. He says I am dragging his mental health down. He seems to have forgotten that he lost his job (due to redundancy) 3 years ago - very stressful. Then he re-trained as a school teacher - very high achievement - but very stressful for us all. We have also had to manage on less than half my husband's previous salary and I have not been able to work due to ill-health. Just before Christmas, one of his pupils accused him of physical assault and this was investigated by the school. My husband was threatened with the loss of his job - but then the child's parents withdrew the complaint. This was a relief but we had suffered a lot of extra anxiety when we least needed it. My husband is far from perfect - he has had ongoing problems that I have despaired over and have been enough to make me think of leaving him. (Problems I am not ready to describe here yet.) However, I have remained faithful and loyal to him because I always believed in him as a person and in the importance of our marriage. I have always believed that our children need us both to be together in the same home - as a united family. Now my husband wants to take all that away - everything I had and all I believed in. He says that his solicitor says that after the divorce I will have to leave our home and find somwhere else to live. He says that a judge would advise that he keeps the children in the ex-marital home and he look after them because of my mental health problems I would be judged unfit to care for my own chilren. I am devastated - would miss having the children too much. He says I can have lots of access but this would not be the same for me as having the family together. I have spent so many days and nights in tears, begging my husband not to split us up but he will not have any pity. As for finding another home, I have nowhere else to go. My husband says that because of my mental health problems I will go staight to the top of the council housing list. But I have been told by Citizens Advice that the housing lists are full of people with mental health problems who are not going to be housed anytime soon. Their financial adviser expressed concern that I was being bullied by my husband into accepting a situation that I do not want. Apparently, my husband wants to buy me out of my share of the house - to make a lump sum available to pay off my debts. I have been advised not to let him do this without me knowing my rights. Otherwise I could be left with no rights to my home and no financial assets. Anyway, I am new to this forum and wanted to share my current situation with other members. I have read a few other blogs and realise there is a great amount of suffering out there.