12 month point - Life goes on

Well, 12 months since I was told that 'our' marriage was over. I felt the need to mark it in some way, so another outpouring into the blog machine seemed as good a way as any. It's good to write. The blog machine doesn't judge, doesn't comment, just takes whatever I throw it's way. It's my 16th wedding anniversary on Friday. Shan't be rushing out to buy the card and flowers this year. I suppose that she will be feeling a bit fragile about it too. Should make for an interesting day. Wonder if either of us will actually admit to the other that we know it is our wedding anniversary? Probably not. For her, that would be admitting a weakness, a chink in the armour - Simply not allowed. No, just the usual cold indifference then. What has 12 months taught me? - She has a mean streak I never saw before. The person you married is not the person you divorce - When one party has made the decision to split, they have made it for both of you, whether you like it or not - I'm a stronger person than I thought I was. - Lack of communication is one of the most damaging things that happens during a relationship breakdown. - Don't believe a word you are told - When people tell you that they haven't taken sides, they have - When the chips are down, come out fighting - Keep an eye on your bank accounts, statements and cheque books - Be ready to make some sacrifices to your standards to maintain a good relationship with your children - Compromise beats conflict, but sometimes you have no choice - Locked doors mean nothing to a STBX spouse on a mission - It does get better - the emotional pendulum still swings, but more softly. - You do have wobbles, but get over them more quickly - However awful you are feeling about your personal circumstances, someone else out there has a whole lot more to deal with - Without Wikivorce, I would have found this whole episode a great deal harder to deal with. - There is a light at the end of the tunnel, however long and winding it may be. Many of you have heard those phrases over and over. But they take on new meaning and significance for me as I make my way down the road of life. So, I am the respondent, the petition is issued, pistols at dawn. The next twelve months are going to be a challenge, but nothing like the challenge I have left behind me now. The last 12 months were hell. The future is bright - just need to take of the sunglasses to see it. Thanks to all of you Wikimates that have listened to me moan, swear, laugh, cry and fume. You are special people. Onwards and upwards!