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Jan 30
2008
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I don't know what to do anymore, don't know where to turn. My wife of 11 years told me last Nov she didn't love me anymore as a husband. A friend yes lover no ok after lots of chats and tears we came to a decision to go to marrage councelling. I've tried and done everything, I don't argue or hit her ever I sort the kids out do the housework, dinner even though I work myself I buy her flowers now and then, she comes home from work there's a bath run ready for her that's all she has to do is relax. Now last weekend she tells my in her words "I don't think it's going to work" how does she know it's not going to work only after 3mths she says she's been trying to work it out for a lot longer but that was befor I knew anything about how she was feeling so that's not here or there I've told her we've got to try for longer together be she's not having any of it. We have two kids 8yrs and 10 we've told them what's happening obviously they were upset I thought her seeing them like that would have changed her mind but it hasn't. There isn't anyone else and I do belive that, if there was someone else at least I could understand, why, why is she leaving me what have I done that's so bad, she says "it's not me it's here" but that's no answer I don't know where to turn I'm crying nearly 24/7 I wish she would just come back I love her so much yet hate her for doing this she and my kids are my life but I can see that is it for her there's no turning back for her. We have said we've got to sit down and sort out about splitting things and what to do next, but I don't know if I can cope I want to stay yet I want to go but why should I suffer if she's the one that's decided this. Where do you go to from here what to you do, my head's in such a mess.
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broken1
said:
| January 30, 2008 | ||
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If you read some of my post's I feel the same as you, You are not alone. I love my wife with all my heart and never want to be with anyone else but her. But like your wife mine to said she loves me as a friend not as a husband. Why? What happened where did the love go? I'm sorry but like me I think you will never know and that is why it hurts so much and is so hard to except.I wish my wife would say something bad about me but she doesn't all she says is ''you are a good man and deserve someone who loves you''. Well thanks but I want your love back ! Before I came to the site and situation I thought it was nearly always men that walked away and am so surprised how many women walk away and have affairs. If she is adament that it is over you need to think about a few things. Can you do anything to make her love you again? Who is more important you or her? Would you really be happy staying together knowing that she doesn't love you? Like me you have to ask yourself some very tough questions and then fight the answers between your head and heart and at the moment my heart is winning which I know is wrong but I can't do anything about it. There is no easy answer to any question and so many questions will remain unanswered. Just remember you are not alone and that the path ahead will have up's and down's and even if like me you can't see where the path is leading it will end one day. Take care and look after yourself. Broken1 |
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daviesinkmn
said:
| January 30, 2008 | ||
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Thanks for that, I will read your posts. | |
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davej1808
said:
| January 30, 2008 | ||
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Hi, I understand what you are going through as so many people will as well. The pain and sadness is just so unbearable. I personally have found focusing on small positive things and getting them done helps in a small way to get through the day. I know the days probably seem so long and filled with so many obstacles. You cant sleep, your not interested in food, life just seems so bad. Turn to your friends and family. They will be there for you. This is when you find out how much other people really care about you. You will get through this, its just a horrible thing to get through. Dave |
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daviesinkmn
said:
| January 31, 2008 | ||
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Cheers, it's still hard I'm looking on the net for info on how to save your marriage yet a lot of the advice is to step back and let her carry on yet if I do that surely she'll just go, and I cann't let her go, I just cann't. | |
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