Sat Sun

Hi its Blog time and here we go another instalment in this never ending rollercoaster ride we call divorce. Firstly the photo on my Blog Yes it’s me in France summer 2007 And Dumped2 you sure put a smile on my face calling me a Hunk i needed that one. And ciaobella Dave and the others who have been kind enough to comment on my Blog or send me private messages and emails big thanks you’re great. To those who thought about it but haven’t, I don’t bite don’t be shy! I had a long lonely night shift on Friday the women who all know about my situation tried to help by doing a lot of my work before they went home. It was a kind thought and normally I would have appreciated it and I did thank them for doing it, what I else could I say? I couldn’t say I needed to have that work to take my mind off everything else. an hour into my shift I had finished 99%of my work, boredom set in, I’m clockwatching and my problems at home were firmly planted in my mind not what I needed last night. AnywayI was heading for a downer I could see it coming. I got home to find my daughter cooking me a bacon sandwich and life’s looking better already. I checked my euro lotto tickets and yes I’ve won nothing again its nice to see life returning to normal at least in part. I have been asked how I could forgive my wife so easily well sadly I loved her it’s as simple as that. 4 weeks into this and I have had enough of the endless arguments the right and wrong stuff, guilt trips, questioning her every time she so much as looks at her mobile or goes out and every other kind of emotion running through this house. I loved my wife for twenty years gave her all I had and more. I’ve spent four weeks endlessly trying to find something I did wrong just trying to understand why. But what’s the point why flog a dying horse? It’s her choice, her life, if she discovers she made a mistake later there is nothing I can do about it, our home everything and everyone in it will be long gone. There will be no turning back and nowhere to come back too. Sat and Sunday were long hard days most of which I have spent at home feeling very alone. The washing, ironing, cleaning and everything else I could do has been done. Everything I could find relating to my wife has been bagged and put out of my sight. An odd thing that I hadn’t noticed before, we used to have lots of photos dotted around the house either on the walls or in frames of us both and the girls now there are more of the girls and none of us and I cant find the photo’s anywhere, I assume she must have been destroying them slowly over the weeks /months I’m surprised I hadn’t noticed before. She probably couldn’t bear to look at them knowing what she was up to.