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Aug 31
2009
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OH told me about his affair two months ago and it finished a couple of weeks ago, but not of his own choosing. He came home but because he didn't come home because he wanted to be with me, I asked him to move out and he agreed.
I found him suitable places but initially he turned his nose up. Then he'd phone but of course it had already gone. I'm afraid I lost my rag a bit as I was scared he would still be here at Christmas, but it did the trick and lo and behold he found a place the next day.
Anyway, I am sad that he will be moving out. I will miss him and I am sure that he will move on far better than I will (he is very sociable). Just wonder if I have done the right thing? Could we have worked it out if he'd stayed here, even though I know he isn't in love with me anymore? As for me, I am still in love with the man I married, but I'm not sure he exists anymore.
Comments (9)
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zas6157
said:
| August 31, 2009 | ||
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yes you have doen the right thing - i forgave and suppported my ex for 11 years and stiill was playing 2nd fiddle - so it really is the best option get out now! Will get better and worse im sure but then the sun shines and all is well. ((((((((sophe)))))) Sx |
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honeyblueyes
said:
| August 31, 2009 | ||
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I think you have done the right thing. I know it's an extremely hard decision to make and even harder to stick to it - but if he'd not in love with you then there's no point in trying to pathc things up.....I wish you luck and hope you can be strong to get through the next few months. | |
didojane
said:
| September 01, 2009 | ||
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hi You have made the decision that you feet was right for you . I use to say to my self when i asked my husband to leave because of his on going affair. If you love someone let them go if they love you they will come back and prove their heart belongs to you . If they dont then you have done the one thing that is the hardest most unselfish act but for the best for your self and your own happinesss and your future which will after the rain and the storms will be filled with sunshine . When you are feeling a little better listen to Broken Strings this song kept me going and made me realize that it didt mater how much I loved him or missed him and wanted him back . The first few times i heard it it made me cry but it did help me with accepting that he didt love me any more . Love Dido xxxx |
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NellNoRegrets
said:
| September 01, 2009 | ||
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Yes, you've done the right thing and you know in your heart that you have too. A big decision always makes us question if we are doing right but that's just normal. When my ex moved out I knew our marriage was stone dead, but I still wondered if I should ask him to come back, which was daft as he'd moved out to live with someone else! A year on I am soooo much happier and don't miss him at all. Of course it was horrid when he went, but I got through it with this site, counselling and my friends. You will too. Nell |
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Poppie
said:
| September 01, 2009 | ||
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I think you have made the right decision. When ex admitted to his 12 month affair I asked him to leave and he went. It was the hardest decision of my life but one that I knew was right. Two years on and he is marrying the girl he had the affair with. Do not question yourself. Letting go can be so much harder than hanging in, only to be hurt over and over again. Take care of yourself. Poppie x |
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enliven
said:
| September 01, 2009 | ||
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You've come through with your pride intact. You are a strong woman and as for you not being gregarious, who knows he may have been holding you back. My social life died during the marriage as I could never organize anything as I couldn't rely on what mood he would be in come the day. I'm aiming to change that, even at my late stage in life. |
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julesm
said:
| September 01, 2009 | ||
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Hi Sophe You have made the right decision, although I expect it hasnt been easy. It certainly wasnt for me when I made the decision to leave my husband in January of this year. I had just about had enough of his bad behaviour and believed that a separation was necessary in order for me to retain my sanity. I am not sure if its a good idea to stay with someone who doesnt love you. It wont help you even if you still love him. You will come through this a better person. Take care, and best wishes Jules |
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hurtandsad
said:
| September 02, 2009 | ||
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Yes you have made the right decision. In these situations our gut instinct is always right. My instincts were right about my husb although I refused to listen to them for a while. He changed towards us as soon as he met ow. he is no longer anything like the man the children and I loved,trusted and respected. The ow is welcome to him. ad it came to this tho, we were a happy family til then. Good luck, it does get better and it helps that you made the decision not him! I found a letter from ow and told him to come home and pack, he was gobsmacked, I don't think he planned to go but I'll never know for sure as i don't waste time talikng to liars! | |
nina10
said:
| September 02, 2009 | ||
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Yes, you have, if I had the courage to end it the first time my OH did this, then I wouldn't be in the mess I am now, good luck... | |
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