Thursday

After the highs and minor wobbles of the last three days its back on a downer for me today. I found that my wife’s sister had a huge row with my wife in front of their parents and all four ended up in tears, her sister virtually disowning my wife and everyone telling my wife that her lover will never be accepted, will never be welcome in their homes nor will they visit them either. Big brother got involved and it’s just another huge fall out in her family something I desperately wanted to avoid but I couldn’t, I had to tell my side of the story for the first time in years. I didn’t deliberately add fuel to the fire, I didn’t lie, and I told it as it was neither adding nor leaving anything out just the truth. They are great people a very close family who have been good to me; they accepted and treated me like a son. Good honest hard working people who don’t deserve to be mixed up in this mess. What surprised me was how much they had already worked out; they just needed to know their observations were correct. I suppose that when you’re looking at something from the outside you spot things those involved don’t or maybe try to hide and just put two and two together. But either way it needed to be said. I have never been one to hide my thoughts or keep secrets except when necessary and I didn’t want them to judge me without hearing my side of the story first. I needn’t have worried though To my wife I’m to blame she can’t accept that its all down to her, had she not behaved as she had and still does none of this would have happened. Had she any thought for me and her family the divorce would have happened if that’s what she wanted but all this turmoil and hurt she has caused to all of us could and should have been avoided. I rang my wife this morning, why? I don’t know I just wanted to say good morning, ask how she was and so on. I suppose to be truthful I was feeling a bit lonely too and wanted to hear her voice I had missed it so much around the house these last few days. But I quickly wished I hadn’t. It was a spur of the moment thing that backfired on me, all she wanted to discuss was selling my home and divorce to be honest I don’t know what else I expected to hear. I’ve had very little sleep over the last few days and though I was entirely civil and friendly towards her those words were not what I needed to hear at this time. I ended up feeling much worse. Apparently she wants to discuss everything with me tomorrow we could be heading for two in a row here. Oh hum Divorce is one hell of a roller coaster.