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Dec 30
2007
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Against my better judgement, I let my 1 yo go with her 2 brothers and 1 of her sisters for contact with their father today. She cried as she was put in his car, not as much as sometimes when she goes, but none the less she cried.
X2b rang me at home at lunch time to ask whether it was normal for my 3 yo and 5 yo to be going to the toilet every 5 minutes. The conversation swiftly moved on to the fact that the children are seeing someone about what is going on in their lives at the moment. He believes my sole purpose in all this is to turn the children against him and stop him from seeing them. He is doing a good enough job of that himself. I could hear my 1 yo crying in the background. I so just wanted to go and collect them, there and then but just knew that would rile him even more.
He brought them back early and then said that he would not be seeing them again until he has had a chance to talk to his solicitor who he then wants to speak to the family welfare association and the school nurse. He also said that he would no longer pay the 40% of the mortgage that he currently pays. A threat he has made on more than one previous occasion.
My 11 yo told me that my 1 yo had been distressed for a large amount of the time and that she had spent the majority of the time at his house in the playpen. He said that their dad had said the "F" word on numerous occasions and slagged me off to his hearts content.
My children are clearly not happy spending time with him when he is like this. He has threatened to stop contact before and at the last minute gets it re-instated. This time he is not going to play games with my children. I will be informing my solicitor on Wednesday that I want to go to court for a defined contact order and until then i want to look at supervised contact.
How can he do this to his lovely children? If you love someone, why would you do it? It is one thing to abuse me but what have my children ever done to hurt him, they are but innocent souls in all of this.
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sexysadie
said:
| December 31, 2007 | ||
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Oh dear, this is awful for both you and the children. My ex behaves similarly, though it is not quite as bad and my children are a bit older so better able to withstand it, and also more able to refuse to go, which keeps him in check a bit. He has also told my ten year old that there is nothing wrong with him and he doesn't need the family therapy that the local health authority has offered us because the children are so distressed. I think men like this just can't handle the idea that they have behaved less than perfectly to their wives and children so they pretend that we made it all up and try to convince the children that this is so. Fortunately, children are not fools and know what has happened and is happening to them. Good luck, and if he won't see the children until he has talked to all those people, then maybe it's a good thing that it will take him a while to do so! Sadie |
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