How it all began

I would describe myself as a confident happy person, loved being around people talking to them (hence my job as a receptionist) when I was 23 i met a guy couple of years younger than me we got it together bought a house and it all went badly wrong, he was very controlling treat me badly I was in financial difficulty and I alienated my family eventually i moved out and got my own flat.

I held down 2 jobs, one in an office and one in a wine shop both of which I loved, i was nearing 30yrs old and thought I would never meet anyone or settle down (had some brief encounters whilst being single tho) one night a guy walks in and i served him and I remember thinking he's nice and he had an identity works card with george clooney stuck over his picture, we made a joke about it and he wanted it taken off so I did it and we flirted. He kept coming in doing the flirting etc and then all of a sudden I didn't see him for nigh on 10 months, then one night whilst at work he came back, he got very flustered didn't have any money with him went out and came back.

The next day there was a letter pushed through the day from him asking me out so i rang him (brazen I know but I had been for a drink with the girls) eventually we had our first date and I found out he was married but separated no kids and waiting for his divorce (2yr one) we became very close best friends lovers etc and I really thought I had met the person for me.

Our first date was the 2nd of August 2002 by the October we had had our first holiday and I had moved in with him by the end of October, we were so in tune with each other, he was very attentive, generous and kind something I really wasn't used to. Life was great and then we fell pregnant early 2003 and I miscarried and later found out I had a molar pregnancy and we couldn't try for children for 1 year and I had to have my HCG levels monitored weekly.

It was a hard time for us both and I was off work for 3 months (i think war in Iraq broke out at the same time, funny how we remember things) we were ok and we got back to normal and everything was ok, he only has a small family, his mum and brother and his wife, his mum is nice and I fell pregnant in sept 2004.

We were ok, my pregnancy went fine and I gave birth to a beautiful child and we were a happy family, however I think I changed as I found it difficult adjusting to motherhood and my husband took on a lot and I suppose in some respects I relied on him too much. His mum as it was her first grandchild tried very hard to get involved and I pushed her away simply because of what happened with my first pregnancy and I think this hurt my husband, i to some degree stopped being the lover, friend and became the wife and mother to my detriment, I wanted him home on time to sit down to tea together, wanted us to do lots of things as a family. I never stopped my husband from going out