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Dec 25
2007
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I stupidly thought x2b would refrain from giving me any abuse today; it being xmas and all, but how wrong can you be?
I was 5 mins late dropping them at his house, after being 3 mins late he felt it necessary to leave messages both on home and mobile voice messages. He gave me a load of verbal both on dropping the kids off and collecting them.
I spent the next 2 hours walking along the beach; crying. Not being with my 5 beautiful children for any amount of time on Xmas Day is heart breaking. (Yes, I do feel for you dads out there who didn't get to see their children today; but mine felt that getting 2 hours with them, considering he is working 12 hour nights at the moment, still allowed him to abuse me, today of all days!)
If abusing me then was not enough, he waited till mid afternoon to send me an abusive text, and finished it off by saying "......... Merry Xmas"
One of his questions today was why did I feel the need for my 9 yo to see afamily therapist? Now anyone that knows any part of my story will know the answer to that question. It is a real shame that he cannot see or admit what he is doing to his own children.
My 3 yo remains unable to go to sleep on her own, since an incident 2 weeks ago, where I had to lock myself; her and my 1 yo in the car to get away from him.
Today of all days; why?
I would say that although I have had bad days of abuse; although this was not the worst by far, it has really upset me because of it being xmas day. I thought walking along the beach would clear my head but I just couldn't concentrate on anything other than my children.
My 5 yo told me they were meeting "her" for the first time today (which turned out to be wrong) but my eldest 2 children confirmed that he has talked about them meeting her in the near future.
To say today has been a bad day, would be wrong, hopefully my children enjoyed themselves, thanks to a big family xmas on my side, but I have wrongly just wished the day to end.
I wish I could see and end to the abuse but sadly, I can't.
All I can say is that xmas day for another year is over, and for that I am grateful.
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Fat Boy Getting Slimmer
said:
| December 26, 2007 | ||
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I really feel sorry for you IfI. I know you probably wrote this blog just to release some of the painful feelings you must be experiencing. Answers will not be easy as you well know. I do wish you well for the rest of the holidays and I ma sure your family made it a great days for you and your kids. it must be great to have that support locally. Wishing you all the Best FBGS |
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sexysadie
said:
| December 26, 2007 | ||
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It's my experience that abusive parents do find it hard to acknowledge what they have done to their children, and see the other parent as exaggerating things and blowing them out of proportion. Abusive parents are in any case usually so self-centred that they think anything they do admit to is the other parent's fault anyway. My ex has told one of my children that there is nothing wrong with him so he has no need for family therapy - fortunately my son is quite clear about why he thinks we all need it, but it's hard for him to deal with comments like this. Unfortunately I think people like your ex are more likely to be abusive on days like Christmas Day just because they are special family days. At least you have now got through the day and got your children back with you. I hope things are better today. Sadie |
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Specialdad
said:
| December 27, 2007 | ||
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Really sad to hear IFI. Get a non molestation order citing verbal and written abuse. He will have to explain himself in court if he continues. All the best. | |
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IFIKNEWTHEN
said:
| December 28, 2007 | ||
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If only it was that simple; have been turned down for funding for injunction, have got another application going through now, but i am not holding my breath. At the moment all I can do is log the abuse with my victim care officer and my solicitor and just keep taking the abuse. Have been warned not to retaliate in any way what so ever, not even swearing at him as he may report me and have me up in court. That is justice 4 u !!!! | |
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Angel557
said:
| December 28, 2007 | ||
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If best thing to do be polite when you see him don't matter what you think in your head .He will get bored trust me once the divorce starts going through he will begin to back off i have been in your shoes and it's crap , i sit in my house with my house and phones being flagged but so far i have not needed to dial 999 and i hope i do not have to as his did tell me back in sept i had 6 weeks but he never told me what for, but i'm still here so i will take that threat with a pinch of salt , last time i see him he was in my face that much i could count his fillings, i was waiting for him to nut me 1 but it never happened and now i hear nothing from him , great in a way but not so great for the children suppose you can't have it both ways. | |
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