the story so far...

Unfortunately been quite a while since I visited here. Due in no small part to BT being completely incompetent in installing a line in my "new" home - their systems could not find the address on 3 separate occasions and cancelled the order...the building is only 150 years old...so hardly a new build!

So - whats happened - well moved out at the end of August and then just a question of witing for pension forecasts to arrive before we were robbed at mediation again. STBX clearly wants to keep the house, it was not well recieved when I pointed out that the purpose of mediation was to reach a mutually agreeable financial settlement first - and if this enabled her to keep the house all well and good - but it was not the objective of the meeting. That did not go down well at all. We then handed over all our financial info re pensions,wages etc. But we did not actually go through any of the figures re the pensions themselves. In hindsight that was a mistake.

STBX has always made an issue of my forces pension which I am already receiving and the fact that I'm now in an decent occupational pension as well. She's always said her was rubbish etc and that "you'll be OK" etc etc. We basically came to an agreement on a figure that will enable her to stay put - give me approx 35% of house equity and we leave each others pensions alone. Turns out now her pension has a CETV of £75k - compared to mine of £19k. Obviously the pension I'm already recieving could be subject to a pension sharing order - but at the mo it does not have a CETV figure but was listed as my income and brings my pay to parity with hers.

The figures look pretty poor when pensions are added to total assets - my settlement figure works out at less than 20%. So it's off to the solicitors on Wednesday to have a look at the figures - so another bill on the way! Haven't had chance to use the calculator yet but will be doing that before gong to solicitors...

We have barely spoken half a dozen words since the meeting - as she had anticipated me taken even less than we agreed upon - could start to get even frostier if solicitor thinks settlement figure is still way off...