Yesterday I signed the Separation Agreement, the document that deals with the finances and assets division. The rights and wrongs, the fairness, or unfairness of what’s in it is no longer relevant, it is signed and posted. There is no going back. All I have to do now is wait until November then I can divorce him on the grounds of 12 months non-cohabitation – that is just 3 months away. I have to admit to doing something childish – I have long wanted the word “tosser” used in a legal letter/document (my sols informed me that it was not “an appropriate word to use – but smiled as he said this),

 It has taken me a long time to realise this, in fact it has only been tonight that I was able to see this, clearly and properly.

 Its never been easy for me to allow others to climb over the brick wall that I built around myself years ago, for my own protection. From time to time, someone will see past the bricks, and find the real me hiding behind, and stay there, but not often. Those that Ive allowed to get close to me are precious to me in all kinds of different ways, and will always have a special place in my heart, come what may. 

Throughout my life, I have seen people come and go from

Just when I thought I was doing really well, and all in the garden of life was blooming, it start to rain, not just a light refreshing shower, but  a great deludge of big fat raindrops.

My worries are minor in comparison to many, I realise that, but they are still there, occupying my head all the time, pushing the good thoughts and feelings to the back of my mind.

I worry that he, the x2b, will come back and try to move back in (something that has always concerned me, probably unnecessarily), him changing his mind about the separation agreement, deciding that he wont consent to a