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Nov 22
2007
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Okay.... it's a stupid title but there's two blogs in one here!!! lol
Flowers.... "you don't buy me flowers anymore"
Very apt.... as my STBX always bought me flowers....... birthday's... christmas'es.... anniversaries....
The reason being..... he knows/knew how much I love fresh flowers in my home.... and he knew how much I appreciated the thought and effort behind him sending me flowers....
No matter where he was in the country/world he always managed to send me flowers.... and I loved him for it !!!!!
I have always had fresh flowers in my home..... nothing special.... just 'supermarket' flowers... or flowers from my local florist shop....
Since he left... just over 4 months ago.... my home has been devoid of flowers.... I find that I dare not spend money on flowers... as this is an extravagence... until... today.....
my daughter brought home to me the nicest 'bunch' of flowers..... she said... she wanted the house to seem like home again....
lol.... this 'bunch' of flowers filled the vases in my lounge... my dining room.... my hallway.... my bathroom... and the bedroom.....
I keep looking at these filled vases... and thinking... 'this is what it used to be like'.....
For the second part of my blog..... the 'angry' part.......
I am so VERY angry.... I seem to be going backwards at the moment.... as opposed to 'looking forwards'.....
For the first 3 months since my STBX decided to walk out of the door.... taking our life savings with him.... and me... subsequently finding out about his affair.... I am feeling extremely angry about the whole situation......
Although I have filed for divorce, and am presently going through the 'legal wranglngs' of it all... my emotions seem to have taken a turn for the worse.....
I am furious with him.....
because....
yes.... he may have found someone else..... he may have decided that 'the grass was greener' after 20 years.... he may have walked away without actually telling me he was leaving me.... he may have 'wiped out our life savings' as he went..... and he may be doing his utmost to ensure that we also suffer financially as well as emotionally....
but...... excuse me......... "I'm still here".........
I am the person to whom he has been married to for 17 years...... I am the person with whom he has 'went through thick and thin' with..... and I am the person who 'deserves' a little consideration when he decides that he would like to be with someone else.... I am the one who was with him when he went into hospital with cancer 2 years ago..... and I am the one who has the right to say... "hey - remember me? - I'm your WIFE???".....
Yes....... I realise..... that people change.... people have the right to move on.... people may have been unhappy.... but what I can't understand.... is how people can purposely inflict such misery and heartbreak and hardship onto those that they (not so long ago) professed to love 'with all their heart'...
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SK_Max
said:
| November 22, 2007 | ||
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If i could give a flower to you, and every one, for each pain we feel I would do so with joy, in the end we could fill a field of joyous colour :-), be strong, we are all strong togehter. | |
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chris_33_dad
said:
| November 26, 2007 | ||
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the second part of you blog reads as if I had written it myself, change the years and WIFE to HUSBAND. I wish I had an answer, but i feel exactly the same.  we'll get through this together though! |
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Sicilia
said:
| January 02, 2008 | ||
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Again, I find myself agreeing with every word. Why can't these people face up to the devastation they have caused. I think my husband wouldn't come back to get his possessions because he would be afraid to face how nice our home was, how nice our life was before he did whatever foolish thing he did. He can't face me because he would have to face the fact that I am not the wicked terrible person that he has convinced himself I am. He did his best at the start to convince me it was all my fault and in my devastation I believed him and that added to my anguish. He also used to give me great presents that made other husbands feel inadequate, but they all meant nothing, I just wanted his loyalty and love. You are lucky to have such a lovely thoughtful daughter, hope this year is better for us all! |
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