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Nov 18
2007
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My wife and I finally had the conversation that I have been waiting for.
The decision is that she wants a separation and the couple counselling is only to be used to facilitate that. So at least there is some clarity and the ambiguity has been removed. My wife needs the space to think and the kids will go with her and the house will go in the spring.
Apparently, when a separation was requested by my wife in spring that would have only been for a few months but that offer was not taken. It was not taken because we couldn't afford it and my wife had just tried to take my name of the mortgage, had changed te bank accounts and contributions into them. I wonder why I felt that if I left for a few months I wouldn't be allowed back in.
Onwards and upwards. My wife's decision now is whether to start couple counselling before Xmas or after. Well I don't think it will change the tone of Xmas by waiting till afterwards so mychoice would be pre-Xmas to see if we can start getting some agreement on how we think and act.
Deep joy!
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couki
said:
| November 19, 2007 | ||
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Really sorry to hear this FB, but maybe she will realise what she is loosing once you separate, the grass always looks greener on the other side they say, its until you are there then you realise well its not that good after all. I really hope for the best for you. Keep your chin up! Couki |
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gooner
said:
| November 19, 2007 | ||
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i totally agree with couki fb but do keep your chin up!!, sorry to hear what your going through but it does get better you will get there. i went through the same 6yrs ago it was shear hell i ended up with absolutly nothing just my cloths and my stereo after nearly 20 years. but now i have my own house and expensive car and my life could not be better as i said you can get through this as i did. so good luck and best wishes for the future. | |
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mike62
said:
| November 19, 2007 | ||
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Jules, I know that this really isn't what you wanted. I know exactly how you are feeling - empty and angry. There are a huge number of practical issues that this brings. Make the kids your number one priority in all of this. Your time with them is so precious. Plan for it now. Plan how you will deal with this with the children, how you will tell them, what you will say. They will lhave lots of questions, some you will have answers for, some you won't. Be as honest as you can. Think carefully about the finances and the financial needs of both households, and if possible, get everything in order before you separate. What will go to your place and what will stay? Communication is a lot more limited once you separate, so try to get as much resolved as you can now. Good luck - time will tell the outcome, but be prepared for either direction. As Gooner says, you can get through this! Take care mate Mike |
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LittleNix
said:
| November 20, 2007 | ||
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Jules, I am so sorry to hear this, I know it really isn't what you want. One thing I really want to say to you though, please don't let your wife make all the decisions and choices - it is your life too! Take care and we are all here for you Nix |
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