You hate me

I loved to you totally and without condition

We were equals in everything

I invested so much of myself in us

You've taken my girls away from me

You put yourself first and not the children

You are selfish and you lied

You broke promises to all of us, you choose when to tell the truth and what promises you'd keep

You did this to your first husband

You never tried to make it better

You pushed the buttons in me

You watched me fall and did nothing

You broke my heart

You destroyed my dreams

You had your head turned

You were weak

You fucked someone else

You twist the knife

You have no integrity

How does it feel runnin' around round round
how does it feel watchin' from upside down

I got the Absolute certificate this morning, next stop is the agreement of the finances then it's done. Last week was horrible, an e-mail row based on interpretation of English language and managing expectations. An assumption that I would look after the girls an extra night while she had a weekend away which had she asked would not have been a problem but she didn't so... the emails bounced around. Nothing new - the marriage failed because I walked away years ago and didn't watch the X-Factor. A critical

16 years done in less than a year. It came when I was on holiday..the holiday we booked last year when our 10 year old said we were ‘awesome' parents.

On the night there was an electrical storm, no rain the Gods playing heavy metal in the sky, a friends said it was a sign I said no it was a storm and that was all.

Up to then I had hoped. Today I reminded myself why we were here. I read my emails to her pleading, screaming, begging, quantifying what had come to pass. Her f8cking a colleague, her not wanting to work through or communicate because the grass is greener isn't it?

What have I