13 years ago yesterday I was lying on a hospital trolley awaiting the female eqivalent of the 'snip'.  13 years ago yesterday he was probably holding his 7 day old wimpering illegitmate child.  I feel sick and angry that he used me for all these years, denying me a normal life when all along he had another life...I feel like a timeshare and a cheap one at that.  All I can see is actually 17 years of my life wasted and used.

Loving and adoring a man that so selflessly had to work in such a terrible place away from his wife and 3 daughters...and he didn't deserve one bit of that love or respect.

4 hours until he comes here to collect his personal belongings  What personal belongings are they that he needs to collect them?  Clothes he only wears when he was here?  Birth certificate or other papers that could be sent?  Am I going to get some answers?  Is he going to come with a big van or some bags?

Will he bring her?  That will be handy...she can carry his bags on her head.  No, of course not...she wouldn't get a visa  to enter Spain, just like |I will make sure she never gets entry to UK as long as I have breath in my body.  He might be stupid enough to fall for her charms...bloody

Been in a bit of a low state for the last week.  After being on the up for a bit I seem to have crashed down and struggling to get up again.  The tears are back with a vengeance and tonight I woke at 4.30 and no chance of sleep again.

It's been 3 weeks since I told him I knew about his other life.  Not had any response, no denial, no excuses, no sorry...don't know why I expect any but after nearly 22 years of marriage would like one.  I can't even discuss this or argue...just have it going over and over in my head.  Where did he go my husband?

Had the school contact me requesting daughter's