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Oct 31
2007
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Well it's been a while since i was lst on here. Hubby and i have decided to separate, only problem is neither of us have anywhere to go, so we are all living together, his 4 girls and my 1, until the house has been sold. It's on the market at the moment and we've had some interest, but no offers as yet. Market is slowing down. I so badly want to move on in my life, but can't. I could move out and rent a flat with my daughter, but she thinks its a waste of money and we should stay put till it sells. Its not easy but its amicable, although the strain is starting to show. I wish i'd handled things differently now. Wish i'd laid down some ground rules. Hopefully this will all be over soon and i can live my life again. I'm scared but excited. Its going to be weird living on my own with just my daughter again, after being in such a big family. Everyone on here has been such a BIG help too.
Comments (4)

hrm
said:
| November 02, 2007 | ||
| Good to hear things have a direction now.It will be strange for a while but as long as it is amicable you'll be ok.We stayed together for 2 months until he got his new place and it was fine but has changed now and is very strained.I am sorry that my marriage didn't work out but the children and I mosey along quite nicely and you will too.It's different but it's fine. | ||
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scottishlady
said:
| November 03, 2007 | ||
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Hi Jerseylass.... We've missed you! I can't speak from experience... I admire greatly those people who can remain living together whilst going through 'the transitional period'.... I'm not at all sure how I would have coped with it... I guess it's a case of having to get used to a 'different' life to the one we have known.... I wish you all the luck in the world, and hope that this period in your life goes as smoothly as it possibly can under the circumstances SL X |
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apm
said:
| November 03, 2007 | ||
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JL, My wife and I tried to stay together until Christmas but it wsn't going to work. So, speaking from experience on how to avoid it going wrong... Get the ground rules down. Seriously. If it is amicable between you do it now before things have a chance of going wrong. A few ideas. Set a time and place with him, away from the kids and draw up a list of things to discuss, agree the list with him before hand and ask for contributions. Don't make any prior set decisions against the items but have your ideas to hand. Say things like, "what do you reckon about x..." or "would y be better"..... Come to an agreement between you about all things you can think of, even the stuff that appears inconsequential. The phrase "state the obvious to avoid confusion later" springs to mind. I'm a week in to life on my own in my new flat. Our separation is VERY amicable although I have found it hard to adjust to her new "free" life style, but then that's her business not mine. The quietness is strangely comforting, it's "me" time, didn't get much of that before. And I'm sure you didn't either!!! Allow yourself to enjoy it. You do deserve it, you know. Good luck, it will be good. You'll see. |
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