Amicable? more like Armegeddon!

Just when you think you have gone as low as you can, something comes along to remind you that there is always lower.  The STBX and I co-own and operate a small hotel.  Normally we have a chef, but she gave him the week off this week. Normally STBX is second chef.  Normally I run the bar and front of house.  This weekend was far from normal.  STBX moved out on Tuesday, in a very confrontational manner.  Friday we had a full hotel.  STBX waited until I got home from work, carrying two document boxes of work that I hadn't done on Weds and Thurs, when I was dealing with the outcome of her little hissy fit, and couldn't go to work.  She asks whether I will give her free access to her things in her room.  I tell her that I am following my sols instructions, and so although she can have supervised and witnessed access, she cannot have free access.  So she stomps off with the kids and says that until she has free access, she is withdrawing her services to the business.  

Great! Absolutely bloody marvellous!  Full hotel, no food ordered (she didn't tell me that), no chef (she knew that), no staff roster done (she didn't tell me that either), no Sunday afternoon barmaid (she knew, but didn't tell me that). And just little old me to make it happen.  Thanks darling, and I look forward to making one of your weekends really special too.

So Saturday is spent getting food in, preparing vegetables and potatoes, trying to organise staff cover, dealing with guests and anglers - height of salmon season and we sell fishing tickets on local river.  She had some of the staff round at her new house, decorating it last Tuesday, so I don't want to approach them to get me out of the mire, as I don't know where their loyalties lie.  

Saturday night - My debut as house chef.  No safety net.  Me - electronic engineer and IT guy, not chef.  Thankfully quiet.  Order comes in. Jacobean steak, one medium sirloin, one very well done sirloin, mixed grill with lamb chops instead of the steak.  Shit!  what is well done?  What cooks quickest in a mixed grill? sausage? lamb chop? liver?, gammon?  How many onion rings and mushrooms do we put on? Shit! the chips are burning, what veg do they have? Damn - he wanted a salad with his, etc etc, etc.  Pressure? Hell yes.  Get the meals out and don't kill anyone or get any complaints, so feel a bit better.

Sunday, we normally do a fair Sunday lunch trade.  So first of all it's full english for 16 people.  Then start preparing veg for the day.  How many carrots? roast potatoes? is that enough mash? what if the gypsy family come in - their kids eat huge bowlfuls of mash and gravy - better do another half a sack. Gravy? how do we make that? Oh yes - carrot and swede - need to make some of that. Broccoli - doesn't chef steam it? I know he coooks the cauliflowers with whole lemons, but what about courgettes?  Bugger it, just slice them and boil them up till they seem soft.

Good to go - gravy steaming, roast pots golden brown, veg just the 'al dente' side of cooked - still a bit of texture to it, not turned to mush.

First order in, roast pork, roast lamb and childs roast pork.  Somehow, I managed to put it all together in a faintly attractive manner on the plate and get it out hot. Then the gypsy family order - had to smile, plenty of mash ready. And so it went on.  What goes in a stroganoff?  is it paprika or tumeric? Hell give them both! - Beer battered giant haddock?  How do I do the batter for it? I'm sure he uses Stella for the batter.............40 meals later, we finished at our normal time 6:30pm - had time for a quick shower and change before taking over the bar for the night.

One of my regulars was in, and had eaten earlier.  'What did you have?' 'Steak and Ale pie', 'How was it?', 'Excellent'.  Thank you so much Yvonne - what a relief.

Finally got rid of the Sunday night drinkers at quarter to midnight.  Bed and up at 6:30 for breakfast for 9 this morning.  7:15 STBX turns up with kids.  Ask her if she wants anything from flat before I go to work.  Dirty look from her.  Youngest is putting his lunchbox together, so I help him butter his bread and get him some ham. STBX yells that SHE is perfectly capable of making youngest a sandwich.  Hmmmm, so why was he doing it? Eldest tells me that they all wanted to come yesterday, but mum wouldn't let them.

Her hearts and minds campaign with the kids just isn't working.  

I discovered that she bought my 12yo daughter a mobile, even though we had agreed she would wait until she was 14, as we did with our eldest.  I also hear she has bought youngest a playstation for Christmas, even though we had previously said that we wouldn't have one, as the kids have a pc, which can do useful stuff like schoolwork, as well as games. My eldest and youngest would sit in front of a playstation for 18 hours at a go, if you let them.  The STBX undoubtedly WILL let them. Ho hum!

So she is resorting to buying their affections.  But they still love Dad, and want to spend time with him.  That is p*ssing her off royally. Bothered? Me?

So despite her best efforts to really get one over on me, I survived.  And got compliments.  And a £10 tip from the two beer battered giant haddock, a pork stroganoff and a seafood fettucine people. :D

The insanity is that not only is she attempting to damage my business interest, but also her own.  She simply cannot accept that all I have done is to react to her behaviour.  I din't start the feud.  Live by the sword and die by the sword.  Confrontational approaches just make solicitors even more money.

I take no pleasure from her being upset and angry.  But I have to smile wryly at my lucky break this weekend, in getting through it unscathed.  Life can be such fun sometimes.