I want my life back!!!!!

Posted by scottishlady in moving on, accepting its over

I know it isn't going to happen......... but what I wouldn't give to have everything back when it was 'okay' (although it obviously wasn't)

I long for life to be 'normal'..... to go through each day with everything being 'just so'...... instead of having every waking moment filled with 'what happened'.....'where did it go wrong'.....' what did I do wrong'.........'why did he do this'.........'how could he treat me this way'.......

the hurt - the anger - the sadness - the confusion -

who am I?...where am I going?.......what will I do?......

will this ever end???????????????

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hrm said:

September 30, 2007
		It took me a while to realise that -how it is now is how it's going to be.Like you I analysed every detail of every conversation and couldn't work out how or when it all collapsed.At least your x2b has given you a reason/excuse -another woman so it kind of makes a point.Mine ( to the best of my knowledge) doesn't have someone else.It might've been easier to accept if he did because I'd have put it down to stupid male ego. What I have finally accepted is that he changed not me.He couldn't commit himself to our life together and he wasn't big enough to try to sort it out.I may have lost a husband but I haven't lost my self respect or belief in myself.I'm stronger for the experience and appreciate what I still have-the children,friends and family. I'm sure you will come to accept and appreciate that what life has dealt you is fine.Perhaps not your ideal but something that you can make the most of and build on. I hope I don't sound as if I'm 'preaching 'here-far from it but I know the emotions I went through and I know they've changed so I'm starting to move on and it feels good. Catch up with you soon. H

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sexysadie said:

September 30, 2007
		Oh Karen, I do sympathise! When I first discovered that my husband was being unfaithful (and it will surprise some of you to know that this is not why we are divorcing: it was some time ago, I forgave him and we moved on) I thought a lot about whether I would have been better off never finding out and remaining innocent and happy. In the end I decided that it was better to be aware than unaware, however hard it felt. Maybe you will get to that point. Now we are divorcing anyway my children and I all feel like you from time to time, though on another level we are all glad that he has gone... Emotions are all very messy in divorce, and judging from other people's posts, they stay like that for a long time. I am only nine months in and you are not even that...Try and think about the positive things that come from him leaving. There was a set of posts a while back about that which I enjoyed and got some hope from. Best wishes, Sadie

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fio said:

October 01, 2007
		Ditto Karen - may I add hate to my emotional tally, at the moment anyway. You know you must be strong and try and be positive, but its just so bloody hard to be.

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