I am feeling unbalanced and so is the bank account!!

Have learn't my lesson..do not ever trust your X2B.

Having drawn up an informal agreement with him regarding our Monthly finances...and him promising to work with me to get the overdraft down..I put my share in and well will you believe it..he's blown the whole lot...I called him in dispair and he laughed..

Got onto the bank to ask their advice..thankfully got hold of a really savvy lassy..who suggested I just open a new account now with them..then seperate myself from the joint one, when I am ready..In her words.."then that will catch the monkey out".

I know you are asking why leave it so long, but my answer is so complex, but I had to give him the benefit of doubt..as much as he has P****ed me off for leaving..I just wanted to stay amicable.

So in another strange move in my brain..I have sorted our whole financial life out into his and her piles.

And hidden mine from him forever.

The trust has gone, particularily when I discovered that he had failed to complete an application for life insurance..so i am insured up to the hilt and he has none...the hurt in finding this out...he never cared about me and the girls. What was the point in writing wills on the pretext of our life insurance when he never had any..why did he just play the game..why could he not admit to this failing...why, why oh why!!!!!!!!!.

I cannot wait for him to one day seek out all the information I have stashed..because he will find one big F.O. of a note from me.

He still has access to the house..he's five mins away, but I need his help with the girls still..so I need to keep this system in place..but he cannot pry into my life anymore..I share very little with the girls so even they cannot tell him anything.

I have written him a stinking letter outlining my disgust reminding him that he has to work towards an amicable goal for the sake of his children..I don't want anything for me all I strive for is financial security for his children...he draws out the cash and I serve them beans on toast..my god what life is he leading...

I'm off in a mo to hand deliver the letter to the guard room..I hope they will accept it..perhaps they may prise it open and take a peep..no extra sticky tape will be used to prevent this..It goes on all of the time....

But the repercussions frighten me, but he has to know that I am not as naive as he thinks and I have a trick or two up my sleeve to make him see sense because he is relying on my keeping the biggest secret ever that could disrupt his whole sorry life.

So I am frightened for inferring my proposed actions if he will not play ball and am ready to run if I have to.

Jees is life never easy. All I want is for him to help to draw the overdraft down...not thousands..but I will not allow him to leave me with this as a parting gesture..I just hope I am ahead of the game.

Mmmm just thought perhaps I'll deliver the letter later..when I have seperated myself from the account...that is a better tactic...I truly believe he needs me financially so I don't think he will change accounts yet.

Writing things down really helps to clarify things..you gain nothing in anger, by making threats.

Action is the only way.

SO the game begins..and I feel better for a rant.