Another Night Another Day

Posted by moonstar04 in anger hate revenge, accepting its over

1992 was the year I got married, we had lived together for nearly three years. Did not rush into marriage as we had seen others do, who were now faltering in the ever increasing divorce statistics. Eyes wide open we both walked down the aisle thinking it would be forever. I have to say this loved up feeling lasted right up till 8 years ago.

I have often wondered why the feeling disappeared but if I am honest I cannot pinpoint it down to one thing. It is more of an accumilation of loads of things crescendoed into a major feeling of I dont want to be with this person anymore, I do not have any more love left to give to this person.

Last July I moved out of the marital home and into rented accomodation with our daughter. I also started divorce proceedings. Thinking back I was acting with my feet and not my logical head but I needed to just go at that time. For a while things were ok, it took a while for our daughter to settle into the new routine of two houses, but we were getting there. Our Nisci was granted at the end of November 2006. So just the financials and Christmas to get through, or so I thought.

Christmas was such an emotional roller coaster for us, we spent it all together as a family and eventually agreed to attempt a reconciliation. We both agreed to recind the Nisci and try again. I moved back into the marital home in March this year. After just three nights of passion we were back where we started in single beds, single rooms and bickering about the biggest mistake we had both made. Married when we should have been divorced.

So where are we now, still in separate rooms, still in the marital home and about to start divorce proceedings again. Only this time with the knowledge that no matter what, this will be the end.

I sometimes wonder if I am the only person that has gone through this as all the research I have tried to do relating to the reconcilation / divorce scenario just throws up blanks. But surely it is not so rare or is it?

The moral is: Dont try to fix what is already broken, keep walking!!

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