|
Sep 10
2007
|
 |
I am so full of anger that my ears are buzzing and my hands are shaking and I don’t know why, or at least I don’t know why now!
We went to mediation, which I just wanted to be about finances, but was about other stuff too, and I had just got to a calm place with all this and its liked the coals have been raked over and have sprung back to life again, only even hotter than before.
Appetite – gone completely – feeling sick again and very pissed off and I want to throw and kick and scream.
Its almost like the mediator just loosened the cork and when we got home KER BOOM!!!!!!! We shouted at each other for the first time ever, he said that if I filed for adultery he would fight it and his solicitor said that a hotel receipt wasn’t evidence, that I had to have photo, so I said I would name Pat in the divorce (don’t actually mean this, but in the heat of the moment!) and he went nuts, I have never, ever seen him so angry, it was quite a scary moment.
Then I stormed out of the house, then turned around after a five minute drive and stormed back in again.
How can 30 years of marriage end like this? Is this therapeutic, this shouting? If I see him in the water on a bloody floating door I’m sinking it, its everyman for himself.
I haven’t been this angry and frustrated since I was a child
So will we go again to mediation? Not together that’s for sure. Are we still in the house together? well yes! Has he got a job yet? Will I ever forgive him for all the hurtful things he said? Never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Show/Hide comments
Skyelord
said:
| September 11, 2007 | ||
 |
 the mediator in our DV ended up saying call it a day as one person in this meeting is being very economic with the truth, after a few days and being called in to see my soliciter she confrimed it and glad to say it wasnt me, |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
mike62
said:
| September 11, 2007 | ||
 |
Fio, I hope that you didn't replace the watering can yet - looks like it is in for another beating! But on a serious note, this is where your recovery begins. The gloves are off, everything is in the open now - he has finally shown some emotion about the whole thing - The hurt and anger will flow, but now you can see the whole picture. I'm sure that both of you said some things 'in the heat of the moment', which you probably meant to hurt the other. No, 30 years should not not end like that. But that is divorce - it is horrible, destructive and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. You have turned a corner now, if you weren't sure before, you are now. Build on the positive, avoid the negative and remember that it gets better over time - right now, it doesn't seem that way. Good luck and remember that you deserve and will get better than this. Mike | |
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Vail
said:
| September 11, 2007 | ||
 |
Just a note to say my solicitor told me that a photograph proving my wife's adultery would have to clearly show her (face) and "penetration". I didn't ask of what by whom because I was so stunned. Why does he want to contest the divorce? Because he is afraid of being shown up as an adulterer or because he wants to try and save the marriage? If it's the former then he is an idiot and if it's the latter the he's probably a fool given th efeelings you have expressed. |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
fio
said:
| September 11, 2007 | ||
 |
Hi Vail - he seems to think that if I file for adultery I will get more money. I told him this wasn't the case as the courts decide on a no fault basis. He is the one that is seeking advice from a solicitor, I prefer to do my own research. A photo of face and penetration! - LOL Smile please and just edge apart a minute! I cant believe that - is that really true? How on earth can you prove adultery then? Mike thanks for your words of support - you deserve better too. |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
divwiki
said:
| September 12, 2007 | ||
 |
Hi fio, it's so weird that separation and divorce can make us do things that we would never do under even the most extreme circumstances. Certainly shocked me when I did the shouty bit. As Mike says, that's divorce (especially when due to infidelity). Hope it starts you on a process of letting go. |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
gaza
said:
| March 13, 2008 | ||
 |
DONT WANT TO THROW A RED HERING : But read somewhere Swansea Univ stated that if you were in a car in an unlit carpark this is adultery cus the chance of probability of adultery being committed IES WERE GIVEN HOLDING HANDS ,IN A SITUATION [HOTEL ROOM] BEDROOM ETC going on holiday with the opposite sex gaza |
|
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
polar
said:
| November 07, 2008 | ||
|
Nothing to stop as Amanda put it ''inappropriate behaviour'' Covers a multitude of sins including having dinner together holding hands etc. Worth the thought cos you can name .I gather like me you want to name and shame . Why should all the B***** take the micky and laugh as if nothing has happened. Take care Polar | |
| Votes: +0 |
report abuse
vote down
vote up
|
Show/Hide comment form
