Sep 01

2007

Contact At Last

Posted by scottishlady in Untagged

Well.... at last he has been in touch!!!!

He was FURIOUS!!!!

"hello" - - - "why have you changed the locks????"

It seems that he came to the house, I don't know when, I didn't ask him... seemed pointless, as I'm sure he wouldn't have told me...

He just kept repeating "why have you changed the locks?"....errrrr.....d'oh....

Could it have something to do with the fact that you buggered off six weeks ago wiping out our joint account as you went?...... could it be that you have witheld contact details when I asked for them?.... could it be that I wouldn't treat a dog (sorry dogs) the way that you have treated us?.... could it be that you left me with very little money to pay the mortgage, the council tax, the utility bills, the sky subscription etc etc?.... could it be that you have contacted me only once during these six weeks to say you wanted a divorce and to sell our home (of twenty years)?

EEJIT!!!!!!!!!

Anyway... he was extremely hostile.... he was aware that I had packed his 'stuff' into black bags and put them in the back garden.... he must have been scrapping around the neighbours gardens to be able to know that!

I pointed out to him that HE was the one who had instigated all of this..... and then proceeded to bury his head in the sand....

I suggested that we 'just get on with it'....as it seems that this is what he wants....I also told him I would be interested to know WHY he had left me, and behaved in such a cruel way.... but he just ignored my questions....

Not once did he ask about our daughter.... he just seemed really angry, and the venom in his voice was scary....

I told him he should have called if he had wanted contact/access to the house.... but he muttered something about "well, if your car had been there".....yes?

I think he probably checked to see that our cars were NOT there.... and his plan was to come in, get what he wanted, and be off again...well... just for once he hasn't had it HIS way.... and I cannot help but feel the tiniest bit of SATISFACTION!!!!!!!!!!!

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fio said:

September 01, 2007
		He sounds like a total coward, buggers off and can't face you and then moans when you move on and change the locks! Did you ever see this in his personality before? Do people reveal their true natures in these situations or is it the stress of the situation that brings it out I wonder.

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scottishlady said:

September 02, 2007
		Hi Fio.... Thanks for commenting....I totally agree that he is utterly spineless, but, no.... it isn't something I would have said about him six weeks ago, I don't recognize him now.... his voice, his attitude, his behaviour is alien to me... I don't recognize him as the man I have lived with (and loved) for the past twenty years..... OH.... by the way ((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))) for you... I too yearn for a hug

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Louise11 said:

September 02, 2007
		I think he probably checked to see that our cars were NOT there.... and his plan was to come in, get what he wanted, and be off again...well... just for once he hasn't had it HIS way.... and I cannot help but feel the tiniest bit of SATISFACTION!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely LOVE IT! Go girl! Who do these people think they are? I would so loved to have been there when he tried the key in the door! lolololol is that me being a bitch? Dunno who cares, I think its funny! Im glad you are standing up to this coward and dont you dare let the venom in his voice scare you! Stand up to a bully? They will run a mile! especially this coward who calls himself a man! Kind Ones Louise

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scottishlady said:

September 02, 2007
		Thanks Louise... Yes... I have every intention of standing up to him... I am now worried about his next move though.... he talked to me as though he absoulutely HATED me... and I thought afterwards.."what the hell was HE angry about....I am the one with every reason to be angry!!!"... but I was calm (ish) and quite straightforward and civil (couldn't quite bring myself to be polite or pleasant)... but I can't help thinking that he could have got into the house and cleared it (wouldn't put anything past him)... he just seems to want myself and our daughter to 'suffer' as much as possible for some reason, and clearing everything out of the house would just be yet another way of doing that.... that is why I have posted a question about restraining/non molestation orders in the forum.... but....... apart from that.... thankyou so much for your comment - it made me smile... and I am hanging onto the 'vision' of his face when he tried to get into the house

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divwiki said:

September 03, 2007
		Hi ScottishLady, seems like What goes around, comes around - and then can't get in! Wish I could do that with my ex - she still has legal access for 2 more weeks the biyatch. Hope it goes ok. Seems like these "sudden leavers" don't want to own their own behaviour; it's good that you are not taking on his "stuff" to any great extent.

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marco said:

September 03, 2007
		Dont want to throw too much of a dampener on your actions, which, even as a guy, I too found extremely funny - shame you couldnt get a photo ! When my X2B kicked me out a year ago, she too changed the locks , thinking that I would try to get back in - but I decided that from that day forward that it was no longer my 'home' and i would never enter there again. However, when I advised my solicitor, he told me that I could, if ever I wanted to , legally re-enter the property of which 50 per cent belonged to me until decided differently by a court, by force if needed. The only way she could legally exclude me from the house was with a court order which can only be obtained for things such as domestic violence or cruelty to the children. Just thought I would make you aware. Oh yes and I did re-enter the house once, whilst she and the kids were away. through my daughters upstairs bedroom window, which had always had a faulty catch. It was during the time she was being awkward about my contact with the children and her refusal to let me have any of the photographs from their younger years. (Why did they only belong to her ??) I collected some old photos, relished the smell left on their slept-on pillows and left by the same window without her ever knowing. I did 'accidently' drop her toothbrush somewhere, but thats something I will have fun with when we have our day in court. So, also check your windows.....!!!!! Good Luck, I know its not easy, but you will always have support on this site. Marco

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scottishlady said:

September 04, 2007
		Hi Marco...Thanks for commenting, and, yes....I am aware that my x2b has every 'legal' right to enter the house if he so wishes....I just figured that I wouldn't make it quite so easy for him... As my solicitor says... considering my x2b's behaviour over the past six weeks... it is doubtful whether I would be 'condemned' for taking this action... I am rather hoping that he will now get his head out of the sand and actually DEAL with the issues that he instigated Hopefully, I can get him to agree to coming into the home while I am present... as I don't trust him one iota..... instead of skulking around like the spineless idiot that he is trying to get in while I'm not around.... after all, although he DOES have the right to enter our home - he doesn't actually live here... I'm not sure how I will stand on that one legally though.. I AM in the process of trying to get some sort of 'order' that restrict him getting into our home...again, I'm not sure how that will go...