Saturday 18th August - I blog therefore I am

This morning he has arranged to run with Pat – he was arranging that when I dumped the hotel reciept in front of him! Well he doesn’t go – nothing to do with me. He takes the dog for a verrrryyyyyyy long walk (not talking about Pat here, but our pet dog!).

The poor dog comes back and collapses on the sofa for the rest of the day in happy exhaustion.

I mention the fact that he hasn’t gone running and he said it wouldn’t be appropriate – I gave him credit for that and said that it was a good decision, well then he blew it and said it wasn’t appropriate to use my car to see her!!!!!! So misses the point again, I gape at him, so its approriate to see her but not use my car, I say.

So I sit in front of him, and say talk to me, I’m listening, he says I’m going to sue that solicitor, you should not know about my visit.

Then silence, so now I talk, cos he won’t. Again he denies having an affair with Pat ‘we are just good friends – men and women can be you know’. I point out that if I went on a holiday with a friend I would not be sharing a double bed with them, twin room probably, but not a double and not if the friend was a man. So why a double I ask? Well he says there may not have been twin rooms – I said did you check? Um no, so I say you wanted a double – yes I suppose I did, I suppose I was looking for something to happen.

Thing is here that she got sick – he told me this when they got back, so maybe nothing did happen apart from a lot of sick mopping, and other stuff with any luck!!!!! But to me it’s the thought that counts and the intention was there, and then theres all the other stuff. Fancy going to all that trouble and shafting your marriage and not getting your leg over – what a laugh! Well makes me laugh anyway.

So now he wants to stay, ‘perhaps we can sort this out’ he says, I say ‘what changed your mind – you obviously were thinking of going else you wouldn’t have gone to the solicitor’ – he says’yep I was, but it looked too complicated and expensive’. So I say ’you don’t want to stay together to salvage our relationship then – just because its too complicated to separate – gee thanks and forget it!’

So that’s it in a nutshell.

Now he says can I stay ‘til our daughter goes off on her gap year, so I am considering this. I am still waiting for him to initiate any conversation – it seems all very one way at the moment, I ask all the questions and he just reacts to what I say – I wish he would ask me things, but no.

I went out in the afternoon – nothing was being said so I went out and drunk loads of coffee with friends.

Sunday I shall stay in and hopefully he will say something else – least if I’m here it will give us the chance.

Absolutely exhausted at the end of the day.