Anniversary

Dear Blog

I have been strong all week - haven't needed to write any thing at all! Been getting up early and going to bed early - haven't seen him - been easier, calmer, less stressful.  He text one day and I didnt answer.

Today i went to school to pick georgia up and he drove along - said he didn't know i was there to pick her up and i just said yes and wound the window up. could tell he was angry  - georgia came out and got in my car! well done girl!!

been good, been strong,

Today is the anniversary of the day we first had sex - a life time ago, decades ago, another century ago, when we childless, no worries, no bills, no stresses, just me and him.  I met him in the week before the August bank  holiday I didn't really fancy him, just thought he was a 'nice' guy! he bought me little presents and used to phone me from the telephone box ....

Then one day we were lying on his bed and we had sex - and it was great - and it was great ever since until July this year ..... why did he have an affair - I don't understand - to this day I do not understand..... I loved him so much

I am getting better in the fact that I am beginning to cope but I miss him and I can't possible think of a life with someone else - for christ sake its our anniversary today - we have celebrated this day for over 20 years ..... he hasn't text, said a word - he was going to pick georgia up from school - he never said a word to me about the anniversary at the school.  I hate the fact that he texts her and tells her how much he loves her and I worry he will try and take her away.

I have been thinking about the days immediately after I found them together the raw pain - how I cried from somewhere deep inside and he comforted me - now there is nothing - how can we have gone from being what we was to where we are now?

Georgia has gone to a party - he is at work/out with her/whose knows where and I am here on my own.