Cheque Mate

 Today was very strange. We'd said we wouldn't talk directly, but the dog - being a natural mediator - insisted on dragging me to her parent's house and having a fuss from her. As I'm not a particularly proud person I didn't stop him. Why should he suffer because we don't see eye to eye? She seemed strangely pacific and we got on quite well throughout the 3 minute conversation.

 She levelled with me that she is "desperate" for some quick cash and to move out of her parent's and insisted that I could write her a cheque prior to any legal action having taken place. For my part, I at least want to see a petition before I decide anything - I mean who's to say she's even going to divorce me once she's got cash out of me?

 That desperation still didn't mean she wanted to negotiate on her chosen option of £15K. "I'll get it from you in court if you don't pay me now." Hardly a threat that - either you pay me now or later.

 Later she rang me in a much more agitated state: why haven't you got a solicitor yet, you know you don't even need one, all you need to do is sign me a cheque and we can get on with our lives, why are you just sitting on your bum, etc,ad nauseum. I let her run out of steam and then calmly explained that getting a solicitor is not a priority for me right now. That I've been trying various CAB branches without success and trying to handle the arrears she has left me with, keeping a roof over my head, walking the dog who is distressed and keeps urinating everywhere suddenly, etc,ad nauseum!

 She explained to me (quite rightly) that I don't need a referal to a solicitor for the free half hour, I can get it myself. Fair enough, but they still haven't got anything to react to until she petitions for divorce. She kept on and on about she couldn't see why I didn't just write her a cheque and her solicitor said that was fine. I explained that even if her solicitor had said that, he was working for her not me and I would ask my own that question. She went back to "well, why don't you get a move on then?"

 I was reduced to pointing out that I have been reacting to her changing whims all the way along, but she is not in a position to demand when I secure a solicitor or when I reach an agreement, if at all. She needed to sort out her petition and await my response and this would happen regardless of whether I got myself a solicitor or not. I felt stronger as I reasoned this out loud.

 I got to CAB with an hour to spare, but they just said they weren't seeing anyone else today - nothing like feeling rejected. I went to an advocacy service, they said that they probably couldn't take me on as my illness wasn't severe enough, but they might be able to "get me in the back door" at CAB. I should be hearing from their manager tomorrow. I also managed to secure some counselling for the end of the month.

 Not a bad days work especially when I've managed to avoid writing any cheques! Oh yes, my x2very soon be said " I've paid £137 off the arrears to the council today. I don't think I should do that." I think she's had a nervous breakdown, why would you pay something that you don't agree with? My mum reckons she wants to take repossession of the flat after I've been moved on and avoiding arrears will help her do this. hey ho.