4 weeks

Hi all,

Update on my situation. Yesterday I went over to see his parents. He wasn't there, it was a lovely day so no doubt he was wandering around hand in hand with my replacement somewhere. I took over the post that has arrived for him over the past couple of weeks, and copies of photographs I had taken at the last family occasion we had attended together, his nephew's christening at the end of August. It was a tough visit, his parents are very upset, and can't understand why he has done this, when we seemed to have everything going for us. They have told him that he will end up alone if he continues to think that the grass is always greener, and they have said that he needs to grow up and realise that relationships do become mundane, and that everyday life does impact upon them. They also said that she will not be welcome at their house, but I remember my mother saying the same thing when I left my husband for him, and yes, it did take time, but as a parent, if you see your child is happy then you are prepared to put up with a lot, my mother and the rest of my family accepted him, and I know that the same thing will happen with this new woman at some point in the future.

I went over to see them, because I felt that I should tell them face to face that I would not be keeping in touch with them or the rest of his family. It would just be too painful to hear about what he is doing. His mother was crying and said that it was not fair on my kids, who they have treated like their grandchildren for the last 9 years. I said that I knew that, but she had to realise that he was the one who made this decision, and we all have to come to terms with it. In my case, this means severing all ties, I really don't think that he has any idea how this has impacted upon not just me, but my children and our families, as long as he is happy everyone else can just go hang. Am I being selfish? It's the only way I can cope with what is going on, I have to build a new life for me and the children. I will miss them all dreadfully, especially the children, but what else can I do? I thought I was quite dignified, I thanked them for all their support, and said what a privilege it had been to be a part of their family, said I was very sorry for the way things had turned out, and left. It was very emotional, and we all cried. 

I cried all the way home, and all afternoon. The children were at their dad's so I didn't even have them for comfort. It's just so awful, I still cannot believe that he has thrown our life away. Was it really so terrible? I keep thinking back, wondering if I could have done anything differently. I just have to come to terms with the fact that he doesnt like the routine and normality of a longterm relationship, that he wants the excitement of the 'honeymoon' period to last for ever. I think that that's impossible, and that he has a very immature and unrealistic view of life. Perhaps one day, he will look back, and realise that actually he had a really good thing, and he screwed it all up.

I miss him.