another day of coping

Thank you for your replies. I do know what I have to do to get over this, it's putting it in to practice that's the hard bit. I should be finding it so much easier, my ex was not a nice man to live with. He was a drinker too and he would come home drunk from his after work pub trip (every day)! He would moan if there was anything out of place and would expect a spotless house! I spent my time making sure everywhere was nice and tidy. Didn't mind doing it as I was very house proud so why now don't I take that much interest in my very own house! I don't want to sound shallow because I have never put that much emphasis on money but we had money and the girls were able to have nice things, now they can't and it makes me feel guilty. Now we have to be careful and I tell them 'switch the lights off'! Things are so different now. I left my ex because he was cheating on me......so why do I keep thinking what would it be like if I had given him another chance (he had about five)! Surely I did the right thing by sticking to my morels? You don't cheat! You don't cheat throughout your relationship get married then carry on cheating! What kind of man is he! This has devestated me....Now he is with someone he probably won't cheat on. He told me that he would never cheat again because he realises how distructive it is and that he now respects himself more. So has he become the person I always wanted - for her now! Well its time to get ready for school/work.

Caz