Cutting off my nose...

Enough! I've had enough. I don't know how I've coped with the last 2 weeks and how many of you have coped for 2 years and more. Regular readers will have noticed that I've felt more sanguine about being betrayed and controlled over the last 2 days as things have appeared more consistent and less threatening. Now my ex2be has reverted to type.

 Yesterday started so well; her dad had returned from hospital and had ordered her mum and her brother to stop interfering in the divorce. He at least seemed genuinely sorry it had come to this. She phoned me and asked for a lift to the town, I felt like refusing but had to go anyway to get the dog food so off we went. She seemed genuinely sorry for what she had put me through or at least said she was. We met back at the car and chatted all the way home, laughing like in the "old days" ie a fortnight ago, seems like a lifetime.

 Later this afternoon she phoned me out of the blue to say that she would probably not be sticking to our verbal agreement after all - I knew I should have got her to write something down, not that it would probably have made any difference. She isn't so interested any more in me staying in the FMH and keeping her dog as it would mean she would be less likely to get income support - she was getting 15K from me and is already on copious amounts of benefits, how was she going to get IS then? I asked. She gave me the impression that if she spends it really quickly she still thinks she will be entitled to IS.

 I told her that she had done nothing but change her mind for the past fortnight and I could no longer believe a word she said, that betraying me and our marriage was one thing but to give up on her dog (who she can't walk, is 10 years old and as a retired greyhound this is the first home he has had outside kennels) was inexcusable. As this was our surrogate child, I'm convinced that had she been able to bear children she would now be abandoning them to and trying to prevent me from looking out for them.

 She is planning to hand in her 4 week notice on the tenancy tomorrow or maybe next week. I couldn't get into CAB today, though I did sit in the waiting room for a while. I know that I won't immediately be thrown out and evictions can take a long time and I intend to keep up to date with the rent etc, but the council have made it plain that I'm not entitled to a two bed flat so it looks as if I will have to go to B&B until some ghastly studio flat can be found.

 I've told my ex2b that we both need to look for a home for the dog, not just me but I bet she does nothing because there is no money involved.

 I then started to rationalise around bitter and distrustful feelings: I can't trust anything she says so we will have to take due legal process on everything; it will cost a hell of a lot more in solicitor's fees but at least that's money she won't have to spend; I told her it was time I started changing my mind and I would reconsider my offer to her of £15K which her SOL had said was so generous. And I'm thinking I will contest the divorce and her accusations that I'm thrifty and watch a lot of tv.

 I know I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face, but she won't tell the truth, consistently changes her mind, won't go to mediation and makes nonsensical accusations so I figure we can have a long-drawn out, bitterly contested divorce in which the FMH is lost by both and any settlement she gets is reduced by what she has to pay back to CLS.

 Argh, now I'm angry...