lonely

I am feeling really lonely.  I am sitting in the living room watching Camp Rock (don't ask!!) with Georgia.

Just been to dancing with Georgia - she has rehearsals for a dancing show she is doing.  My girls have been dancing with this group for over 10 years.  Doreen and Lyndsay are great they are very supportive.  I have told some about my situation and as married people they don't really understand - they say I should pack his bags and leave them outside - they don't understand you can't do that!!!!!

Well today I let some more know i was sort of in a down place - well I had a sort of bonding experience, but like on wiki its a bonding in grief, a shared bad experience I was talking to this woman who I have known for 10 years maybe longer.... but we have never really talked, talked about feelings and what our lives are like.

They said they had always been jealous of me, I seemed to have it all nice house, nice car, nice kids, nice holidays, nice clothes, a husband who was always at my side.  now they know I am one of them, have been living a lie, no better than them.

My friend Lorraine - She has been having an affair for a year - her husband found out = they talked and now they are trying to work it out..... she has given her lover  up but she blamed the husband for his lack of interest in her.  all this was earlier in the year, I look at the husband and feel sorry for him, he doesn;t know i know, i want to hug him and tell him i understand .... but maybe he doesn't feel like I do.  They don't look happy but they are still together, in their nice house, with their nice cars and nice kids and nice holidays.  When we went to disney with them earlier in the year i watched him, he looks sad...