Thinking about sex!

Hi Wikipeeps

Well its  been 10 days since my last confession .... sorry Blog!

Our reconcilliation continues ... slowly!  It's strange there are no rules and after 4 months apart ... it feels a lot like a new relationship.

Last night, he was popping in with some bits for my sons bike and I was in the bath... when I realised the time I paniced  and thought crikey, I'd better get dressed before he turns up ... durr Why? .... this is the man I have been with for 22 years, he has seen me at my worst and most vulnerable moments.... childbirth for example (it doesnt come much worse than that does it!? ) What a bizarre thought that I couldnt let him see me 'undressed and unmade up'!!!

However, on a positive note, he still seems committed, we are still talking and addressing the issues we should have talked about years ago.  The intimacy is returning .... slowly.... my 1o year old son caught us kissing goodbye last night ... I felt like a naughty teenager!

He is tied to his rental property until December so, in my mind at least, he wont be moving back before that... it gives us time to take it slowly and be sure.  It also gives us time to 'date' again .... I'm liking that bit!

Have started to think about sex again (gulp!), that scares me so not thinking about it anymore.... hopefully it will happen naturally!!!! Think he's more scared by it than I am though!!!!

We have talked about having a family holiday (once the children come round completely - both still giving him a hard time!) and am relishing the thought of a week in the sun doing nothing after 4 months of doing EVERYTHING!

He has 'invited ' me out to dinner on Saturday.... a proper date ..... can't wait! 

We have both told our immediate families ... his brother seems happy as does mine.... my sister is less convinced, she doesnt get why I would give him another chance after he hurt me so badly.  I've explained to her that I never wanted him to leave, there was nobody else involved and a large part of what happened was down to him not coping with the enormous stress and pressure he/we were under.  This time apart has given him the space he needed to put things into persepective and get a real balance.  I just hope it continues because things really could be better in the long run.

Now.... if you are reading this and feeling low.. I would have one word of advice for you .... Counselling!  For me this was the turning point and it has been so beneficial.  My Counsellor doesnt tell me what to do or recommend anything, she just listens (can't usually get a word in edge ways!!) and asks the odd question... leading me to discover my own answers and own way forward... It has been a revelation that I had the answers all along... I just didnt know it. 

If you have been wondering if counselling would help you, see your GP and give it a try!  I would 100% recommend it.  If nothing else, off-loading onto someone in an impartial and confidential manner saves your friends from having to listen .. again... and again!  It has really, really helped me!

Well wikipeeps, thats my update ....things are moving onwards and upwards .... just hoping theres not another fall on the other side!