Relative values

Yesterday was a rollercoaster, all dictated by my beloved of course. She invited me over to her mum's and we sat in the sunny garden trying to decide what it is that she actually wants. I made my grudging offer of £13.5K and she said £15K. I said if that keeps it amicable and you promise not to change your mind this time, I figure I'd be paying more than the difference in solicitor's fees on a contested divorce so OK, fair enough £15k it is. We agreed and I think we both felt a lot better, like a weight had been lifted in my case.

  In the 5 minutes it took me to get home, she had changed her mind again, had been talking to her mum and it wasn't enough, etc. How much is enough? She didn't know.

 She had told me previously that she didn't want to stay "forever" at her parents house and that £15K would give her enough for key money and monthly advances on a private rented flat as well as kitting it out with goods if necessary. The issue here is that if she stays away from our home she will be regarded by the council as having made herself intentionally homeless, She doesn't want to live there but wants me to stay to look after her dog. However, it's a 2 bed and the council say if she stays away I am no longer entitled to occupy and they will "try" to rehouse me in a studio flat in a sink estate. They only have 10 though and they don't become available very often!

 Her family want her to re-occupy our flat, but she claims she is telling them she doesn't want to. I told her we could still divorce and live under the same roof, but she can't bring her lover over. She obviously said no to this.

 I said that I can't work with "I dunno/I've changed my mind". We talked briefly and she said she would definitely go with £15K and her family would have to get used to her having her own opinions.

 She must have spoken to her brother later though as in the evening I got an abusive and threatening phone call from him saying " If you think your just gonna pay my sister off with 15 grand and keep her flat you'd better think again." he was trying to put on a low Sylvester Stallone tone, like in that unintelligible scene from First Blood, but the coward rang off when I asked him what he was saying.

 I phoned her and told her what he was up to and I've never heard so many apologies from one person. She knows that I won't put up with it and he'll get an injunction if he isn't careful, which won't sit well with his employer.

 I also told her that, if this is how it's going to be and all pretence of amicability was out the window, I would withdraw my offer and take my chances in court because it might cost more but at least I would know where I stood. I said that I would divorce her for both unreasonable behaviour and adultery. She begged me not to sue for adultery and then said something strange: I don't want any money at all just the flat back.

 So she had gone, in the course of a day, from No flat, just money please to No money, just flat. I don't expect either of these extremes to be the final outcome, but what on earth is going through her head?

 I've washed my hands of her family now which is the start of a process that will no doubt end with me washing my hands of her too. It might still take a while though; this morning she phoned and asked me to pick her up from her GP and I just automatically went and did it! I didn't offer to take her on to the hospital though which is some sort of step forward, I guess...