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Sep 17
2008
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Turning another cornerPosted by Billie12 in my day today, moving on |
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Feel sort of different, it dawned on me last night.
All this energy putting into this negative situation, what a waste! When he came in couldn't even be bothered to look up from the laptop! Bet he didn't like that!
Anyway. I have been 'friends' with someone over the last weeks. Some one who I have been speaking to about him and feelings, and stuff....
Sometimes we text, and we have 'spoken' on msn, and once I actually did phone him and we spoke for about an hour. Awkward at first, but ok.. He is a really nice man in the same sort of situation as me and I like him. He is funny and sensitive and says kind and wise things.....
But yesterday I didn't speak to him at all - and in the night I woke up and I actually missed the fact that I hadn't spoken, or text him. (well 1 text I think!)
He is working away and the times are different so its more awkward. But more importantly why do I feel like this? I don't want it all to be about my grief with peter, I want it to be because I miss the friendship with him, all this time I have spent with peter, I never even thought of another man, but maybe I am turning the corner.
I look forward to speaking to him, and hearing about him and his life, and telling him about me and my life. Its strange I didn't think even two or three weeks ago I would be joking about stuff with another man, but I am ! and when I haven't spoken to himI have missed him, but not in the empty yearning way I miss peter when i don't speak to him, I miss him in because I miss his upbeat manner. I am not saying that I think this will be the next big thing - but I miss him! Still a bit scary the thought of meeting someone/or him in 'real life' but I hope I do and i hope we like each other .
I know he is probably texting and talking to loads of other women so I don't think for a minute that he thinks of me a special way - but I like him and really value having him in my life at the moment.
This is rambling and maybe I shouldn't be writing it, but it makes me feel that maybe the future will not be so bad.
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fitbird
said:
| September 17, 2008 | ||
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You write what you want in the blog, it is your blog and your help. You may be turning the corner but baby steps, emotions can hit at anytime. Don't rush forward, look after yourself but wow yes a step towards the future  xxx |
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loopy1
said:
| September 17, 2008 | ||
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Carrie Yes you may be turning a corner, he may not be the next thing in your life but it is a positive step in the right direction. Take care L x |
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mrsnomore
said:
| September 17, 2008 | ||
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Carrie It is helping show you that there is a future and something upbeat - even with all what you are going through. Nothing wrong in having a friend to help you through at all x |
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