Being hassled

Thought that today was ok, ups and downs, lots of rushing off to toilets for quick cry, and crying on the drive home from work - why does that 'special ' song always come on when you're feeling vulnerable?

Went to gym, if nothing else my body is fit (unfortunately the red rimmed eyes and bags underneath spoil the effect somewhat!) Have blocked STBX number from my mobile as I still cannot face talking to him, I'm not strong enough yet. When I got home, my son told me he had phoned on the home phone, and he then tried to call me again, Son answered the phone and said I wasn't there, and he had the audacity to start up a nice friendly conversation with my son! I kept mouthing that my son should just hang up, but he has been brought up with good manners and found it difficult.  What sort of man is he? To put my son in that position? I really think he has no understanding of the devastation he has left behind him, he's had a couple of months to mentally distance himself from us, we have had 2 weeks now. What really hurts is the fact that he believes that its so easy to move on, were me nd my children that unimportant to him? The sad truth is, obviously I placed more value on our lives together than he did, it just wasn't that big a deal for him.

Anyway, I decided to text him, and politely request some breathing space, any man worth all this pain would already appreciate that hassling me constantly is not going to give me time to get my head together. I cannot make practical decisions a the moment. If I ever meant anything to him at all, he should respect my grief, and just leave me alone. No reply to text message, could I have got through his insensitive skull? I'm not stupid, I know that there are difficult decisions to be made, all I'm asking for is a bit of time.... 

Just want it all to go away.